How’s it going?
Well (sigh) it’s all done all arranged even though poor
Shirl she it’s been so much on her she called and got the other place that
arranged everything in the end but in the meanwhile the first place had come
and got her for the cremation ya know because we weren’t going to be doing
anything but then the other place showed up and were so nice and arranged
everything but they said it would cost us an extra 750 to go get her from the
first place but ya know Ma always did like a ride in the car so she took the
scenic route HAHAHAHAHAH
Soooo grandma’s dead, I take it…?
O yeah sorry ha I forget who I’ve talked to yes last night
at about 9:30 or so, it was peaceful.
Annnnnd then you called Jen twice to tell her….?
HAHAHAHHAAH yeah I musta!
Well I’m sure she appreciated that, very thorough of you.
Right, HAHAHAHAHHAHA. Well it was very peaceful, she just
stopped doing that gurgling breathing ya know, and but she was still there like
her diaper was cutting into her funny and Shirl arranged it took it off her
actually and heard her say “you’re a good girl” real quiet and she beamed at
Mikey when he came, Doug didn’t come though he needs meds or some shit I dunno
and he was taking that stuff ya know PROZAC! but the girlfriend said she didn’t
want to be with a drug addict (sigh) I don' t think she heard you on the phone but ya never know she loved you like hell, but anyways it’s been as good as you can expect ya
know the hospice people were SO nice and they came and asked all about her and
I dunno how they realized she was Irish by half so I come back into the room
one time when we had been out on a break and one of the hospice women was
singing Tura Lura Lura by her bed….and I could just imagine Ma’s bony little hand
if she had had the strength reaching up and choking the shit out of the woman,
Ma hated all that Irish sentimental bullshit, drunks and poor as dirt in real
life whatEVER, but how was the hospice lady supposed to know she was being so
nice, so it was nice, more or less
(hahahahahahah)
What? It’ll be a nice thing too at the place it’ll be in the
basement of the place and Shirl can’t take any more at her house like food and
shit, no, so bulletin board whatEVER bring a picture if you have a picture and Jen’ll
make texas cav-ee-ar and we’ll call it a day.
No tura lura lura obviously.
Nooo, we’ll have some music she liked. Maroon 5 was her latest.
Grandma liked Maroon 5??
O yeah, she loved it, we’d put her earbuds in there and her
little head would bop. She was so little
by the end, like a kid, her hands, so liTTle. And then guess who called, you’ll
never guess.
Dad.
Your dad.
Right.
He has a sixth sense, like a cross between a son and a
vulture HAHAHAHHAHAHA she’s at death’s door and he’s just calling cuz he felt
the draft HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA. Then I told
him I was at the nursing home with Ma, and he goes “enough said” and hung right
up. So what are you doing with the
garden this year? Tell me something about flowers.
Uhhh, well I dunno, I still like the idea of a pond now that
we seem to be outa toddler hazards, I guess, but they're expensive.
OOOOOOOh ponds are so worth it!! Shirl has these ducks that
land in there ya know and they were courting and we got to see the whole thing
out the window with coffee they’re billing and cooing and wrapping their necks
all around like swim dancing then he gets on her ya know…
Yes, I know….
And he kind of holds her head up out of the water isn’t that
considerate like while he’s pounding away on there but she won’t get water up
her nose, or bill whatEver, which is good cuz it ain't quick let me tell ya! and ya know they mate for life did you know that?
Ducks do? No I didn’t
know that.
O yeah, and the females have a flap in there, in their area,
and if another duck tries to stick it to her she can just close the flap like a
garage door against rape.
Wow.
Yeah, so that politician musta been thinking about ducks
when he was blowing his mouth off.
(hahahahahahhahaha)
What? Ya know what I’m talking about, “legitim…
“legitimate rape”, yeah I get it Mom
HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHA
(hahahahahahhahaha)
