I've known NuNu since 1996. Now I'm comfortable sharing space w/ her, as in sharing blankets in front of the fire talking. Reflecting on this, I did the math: If I can a get to a point of some kinda easy intimacy with apx one person per decade, I have apx 4 (ok let's think positive and say 6) real friends left to make in my lifetime. Calculating further, if I add a romantic connection into the mix, it takes me a decade to make and lose a friend, resulting in a zero sum gain. (I'm insisting on changing that here-to-for inevitable outcome w/ FPH, but the results aren't in yet.) If I think about the subject this way, instead of thinking "I need more friends", I'm cautious almost to the point of paranoid about whom I'd be willing to spend one of my scanty tokens on. The funniest moment of the night by far was when "Scotty", the dude who said "when one goes, we all go!!" with every shot, tried to pick NuNu up by insisting on smelling her onion-ring breath. Although I have to admire his gameness, since of course all I can do is armscrossy hug myself very apart in crowded rooms, still I'm not thinking I'd plunk down a token on him or anyone else there . . . I realize that I can't keep being a textbook case of a cloistered virtue, but today my prayers are for quality over quantity w/ romance seeming somewhat dubious altogether.

damien rice - when doves cry/I'm going to leave you (prince/led zep)