faith

snake handling,
twisting around in sack cloth dresses
that might be sexy
when fear turns them sticky with sweat
getting bit,
that is what my heart does,
spinning to upbelly its pink sides
then squirming to get out of reach
pinned to my hold not letting go
because that would be even more dangerous
and where it’s bit it turns black
like gangrenous certainty creep
eating the flesh
leaving itself behind in its tracks
and dying outright as it goes
until it is a stump not salvageable
in the middle of me
so there is no lopping it,
and I think O No
as it crumbles into my blood
ash swimming in my relentless pulse
it grows back,
and I think O No
love at first bite hold my breath hoping the music
did not just stop hoping
nobody is looking at me
when I open my eyes, when
just before I do I think O please God
I am not so worried that you don’t love me
I am worried that I could stop loving you