Monday, July 07, 2014


Family Processing Dog Walk
TJ: Ok, what are the stages of grief?

Ears: There’s like 12 or something

TJ: no that’s like for drug addicts or whatever…right? I mean, we’re not in a PROGRAM

Me: I don’t know..I know the first one is disbelief.

TJ: so, you’re crying all the time, that must be the one beyond that because if you didn’t believe it you wouldn’t be crying – right?

Me: um…I don’t know.  I haven’t cooked dinner in over a month because I don’t know what he wants for dinner…(cry)

Them: shit! God, that’s still STAGE ONE.

Us: hahahahahahahahah

Me: Ok, I’ll try to get to the next one.  Give me a deadline?

Ears: we didn’t decide what the next stage is yet.

TJ: can we make it up? 

Me: I think it’s “bargaining with God”

TJ: o are you going to go all witchy again and send out vibrations whatever?

Me: (sigh)

Ears: that’s okay but we’re not going to chants and moon meditations shit, we’re not little anymore that you can make us.

TJ: totally

Me: well what stage are you at?

Them: “fuck you”

TJ: jynx you owe me a coke. Yeah I want to break the arrow.

Ears: and shove it through his eye into his brain

Us: hahahahhahahahahaha

Me: jeez guys, we are going to totally need so much therapy (sigh)

TJ: Django? What stage are you at? (“already forgot all about you”)

Me: Ya know, I like Django’s stage! 

Ears: Do you want us to drop you on your head to get you there faster?

Us: hahahahhahahaha

Me: Under the circumstances I might not mind that…


Enter the IT specialist brother-in-law into the picture, who gives me what I was missing, what the dead would say if the dead could speak after all if the dead left cached emails behind. Now, Me: I’m at stage Fuck You I Hope You Wake Up to Find Your Dog Dead at Your Feet and Satan Fucking Your Mother in the Eye Socket While Your Whore Girlfriend Blows The Sabres in a Row.  I wonder where in the continuum is that stage of grief.