The literary episode. The boys love this show (shut up, it's the age of youtube, kids can watch someone's grandma get dismembered as easily as they can get gum, ya gotta deal with reality). . . so, but, I have to preview the episodes because even I have to acknowledge that Cartman drinking vagisil smoothies in order to get whitetrash stupid enough to become a Nascar driver is inappropriate. The Adventures of Scrotie McBoogerballs, linked above, is also out of bounds. The Britney Spears episode, however, is popular cultural critique. Milk-n-Cookies always gives us her weekly Star magazine, she leaves them in the Buddha's lap, but since we watched the Spears episode, we've decided that my reading those on the crapper is immoral and I'm back to The New York Review of Books. (I know, you're appalled, but I'm serious nonetheless.)

WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST: ARIES: You get closer to a workable relationship by deciding what is not workable. TAURUS: Go where you're the youngest, the oldest or the only girl or guy -- in other words, where you stand out. That's where you'll get the attention you deserve. GEMINI: A friend will introduce you to someone fascinating. CANCER: For a certain someone, your name is the first on the list of datable people. LEO: You prefer to spend some time alone, and that is perfectly acceptable to the one who loves you. VIRGO: A loved one craves your attention and needs to be acknowledged for special contributions. [Deal! Make a contribution to my funds of love, and I'll totally acknowledge you.] LIBRA: Loneliness is remedied by selfless giving. SCORPIO: Someone with a good deal of discretionary time and income will spend it on you. SAGITTARIUS: The graceful way you handle yourself favorably impacts the environment around you. Someone will be intrigued and want to know more. CAPRICORN: Give yourself what you deserve, and others will follow suit. AQUARIUS: Give a loved one points for all that is going right in a relationship. PISCES: Your opinions matter to a loved one -- maybe too much. Be sparing with them!