Starting seeing HUD houses with OJ today - I'm getting a house, so now she wants one. I'm pro houses generally, they're good to make out with if you're into that, buuuut . . . Ponytail (guy 3 in the plot I've been trying to no longer follow downstairs [unsuccessfully]) is this guy who last week stalked her and my house, texting her all night long that he was riding his bike around our hood trying to find her (drunk?) on his bicycle and freaked her out so that the other 2 had to take shifts sleeping here to protect her - but that might have been just drama bc today maybe he can help rehab a HUD house, she says. Again, in principle, the re-use movement thing is cool - except for that part where he stalks her. Please let's not call the stalker, I say. "Well no, I'd just call him to ask if he could remove the back half of the house." Can we please not call the stalker? I stare at her, armscrossy. I'm imaging you here letting yourself into the HUD house with him alone, I say, pausing meaningfully. "I'd never do that - I'd take someone with me." Dan and I look at each other. I laugh. He sighs. I start getting this banging headache that I've got now. But she can't help herself. Welp, then fine, I'll call him myself, cz I could use my basement emptied out of old wood. Fine fine, let's call the damn stalker, I give up. Then

X-files opened tonight. Spoilers: Mulder and Scully are together now, but they don't screw (what is the point of that??). And the bad guys are serial killers sorta who maybe steal organs but no that's not it they take organs and heads but no that's not it they take bodies yeah that's it because they're GAY and RUSSIAN, booga booga (no serioiusly, that's the plot - only in America can you get that stupid and offensive all rolled into one for $8). Because everyone knows if you're gay and married in Massachusetts then the next thing ya know, you'll want a sex change by having your head lopped off and sewn back on to a body that has nail polish. And when you get caught, you'll yell "Nyet! Nyet!" because you're especially evil if you come all the way from Russia to get married and then have your head lopped off, because no red blooded American (even a gay one) would be that weird. Even if married in Massachusetts. (O and throw in a psychic, who gets visions because he once buggered an alter boy. [No, seriously]). David Duchovney is off my ogle list. Some things are unforgivable. He just let me down too damn bad this time.

[I have no fucking idea what this is a picture of - if you google "baseboard install mitre saw" hoping for meaningful diagrams, this is what you get. It might as well be drawn in Greek.]

Devon Sproule & Paul Curreri, Why Don’t You Love Me? [hank williams cover and a gay dog]
bonus track: Lucinda Williams, Lately link removed