Friday, January 01, 2021

Day 1. I woke up to the boiler dead, water (cold) dripping into the basement, the first floor near freezing. HVAC guys are not on call today. So I retreated upstairs, turned on the Amish fireplace that A and I got at Sears that one day. It puts out so much heat that I'm lying around in my old pair of mens boxers to cool off. The Amish thing was always good white noise to hide sex from the kids and ready heat for being naked. So I don't use it anymore. When I turned it on, it had that new heater smell. For dinner, I ordered a large vanilla milkshake with whipped cream that was delivered by a man called "Kevin", real name Mustafa (why?). I read Weather all day in bed. Nothing else I really could do. 2021, so far it's hurry up and wait. I am assuming that's emblematic of my relationship to the vaccine this year.  I'm wondering if I'll make it to the shot. Or if I'll tempt fate. Depends on the temptation, I guess (?) If they don't hurry up w that shot, a breeze against my thigh may be enough.


What if we went for a walk, if we walked out into the streets? 

It’s impossible. 
It’s barely possible. … 

Sri Ramakrishna said, Do not seek illumination unless you seek it as a man whose hair is on fire seeks a pond.

Weather, Jenny Offill