self help reading + music

from “Gospel Song”, Dorothy Allison:

“You got a look like your granddaddy sometimes.” Granny pinched me and laughed again. “Bastard was meaner than a snake, but he had his ways. And didn’t I love his ways? Lord Christ!” She pulled back and rolled the snuff around in her mouth.
“Man had only two faults I couldn’t abide. Wouldn’t work to save his life and couldn’t stay away from gospel singers. Used to stand out back of revival tents offering ‘em the best whiskey made in Greenville county. Then he’d bring me that slush they cleaned out of the taps. Bastard!” She stiffened and looked back over her shoulder, afraid my mama might be behind her. Mama didn’t allow anybody to use that word in her house.
“Well, shit,” she spit to the side. “You got a little of that too, don’t you? A little of that silliness, that revival crap?”
“Aunt Grace says you a heathen.”
“Oh Aunt Grace, huh. Aunt Grace fucked her oldest boy.”
My mouth fell open. Granny wiped her chin.
“Don’t you go telling your mama everything you hear.”
“No ma’am.”
“And don’t go taking that gospel stuff seriously. It’s nice to clean you out now and then, but it an’t for real. It’s like bad whiskey. Run you through fast and leave you with a pain’ll lay you down.”

(amen. but what won't do that?)

low - amazing grace

(bonus track: cherokee singers [acapella] – amazing grace)