"My client has dealt with having to come to grips with the fact that he's not loved or considered to be beautiful by President Trump," said Watkins. "Lil' Wayne is. The cronies of the president who were pardoned, they are beautiful. Mr. Trump loved them for a pardon. There are people like my client who believe the president had his back, they did what he said and wanted done, and based on the words of the president, and they are in jail." 

I was rooting for a pardon for Joe Exotic, but watching the Horn Guy testify to Congress would be a solid consolation prize in the Surreal Shitshow category.

Disco is The Boss

 

It is not more surprising to be born twice than once; everything in nature is resurrection.

Voltaire

I just started a new novel, The Mercies, all the men are gone and the women are snowed in indefinitely...I wonder if they shall order 5guys from grubhub 🤔 

This is historical fiction about a nordic witch trial calamity but it gives me the idea to write a COVID version in which the same things all occur except the men who show up to burn women at the stake are instacart and grubhub dudes who know the witches by their order histories. Evidence is easy to come by: Votive candles in various colors, obscure baking ingredients like anchovy paste and semolina flour, dark chocolate and flowers to appease them, fast food binges once a moon. And booze. The witches unknowingly sign confessions of hellish cavorting every time they let the UPS guy sign for their booze for them. The mild mannered black UPS guys feel bad for the witches, but they have to go along with it - their white male bosses' imagined slights by women are an endless hunger of rage and the UPS guys don't want that turned on them some more, Goddess knows, and it's the white witches who order most of the Splash Wine, so they may have it coming. The narrators are the puppies and kittens that all these witches have adopted in what the animals call the pandemic, i.e. The Great Pet Hoarding.  The Gossip - Where The Girls Are

 Try (harder remix) - Janis

What the shit? 

 One of them is Tbone.

I'm pretty jaded, and she isn't my favorite person ever, but the first black asian woman VP thing is pretty cool. I'm glad I was alive long enough to watch that.

 

Puppy puzzles. Designed to make your new bundle of joy smarter. I give them to Django and it takes him a minute to learn it, whatever it is. Think about it, he's a DOG, it's not like "he evolves as a person" goes to fucking college whatever. All along he's been at the gifted end of weird puppy. Of course he is -_- 

 Level 2. One try.

 "situationship", that's brilliant, yeeeeeup

Capricorn. Earth sign. Difficult but soul-sturdy. What you see is what you (don't) get.

More people died of COVID today in the US than died on any day during the civil war.

goes with saying, OF COURSE 

bonus: DUH. but they won't do jackshit about it

MVP

And the day isn't over yet...

 "Don't stick your dick in it, it's fucked enough as it is." 

update: Dear Jan 6th, see above. 

Day 1. I woke up to the boiler dead, water (cold) dripping into the basement, the first floor near freezing. HVAC guys are not on call today. So I retreated upstairs, turned on the Amish fireplace that A and I got at Sears that one day. It puts out so much heat that I'm lying around in my old pair of mens boxers to cool off. The Amish thing was always good white noise to hide sex from the kids and ready heat for being naked. So I don't use it anymore. When I turned it on, it had that new heater smell. For dinner, I ordered a large vanilla milkshake with whipped cream that was delivered by a man called "Kevin", real name Mustafa (why?). I read Weather all day in bed. Nothing else I really could do. 2021, so far it's hurry up and wait. I am assuming that's emblematic of my relationship to the vaccine this year.  I'm wondering if I'll make it to the shot. Or if I'll tempt fate. Depends on the temptation, I guess (?) If they don't hurry up w that shot, a breeze against my thigh may be enough.

What if we went for a walk, if we walked out into the streets? 

It’s impossible. 

It’s barely possible. … 

Sri Ramakrishna said, Do not seek illumination unless you seek it as a man whose hair is on fire seeks a pond.

Weather, Jenny Offill

www.obligatorynoteofhope.com