VIRGO You don't need to go anywhere for the beauty. The beauty is in how you see it. The truth you seek is the same. You'll find the truth and you'll find it right where you are.

"The U.S. Census Bureau reported in September 2014 that: U.S. real (inflation adjusted) median household income was $51,939 in 2013 versus $51,758 in 2012, statistically unchanged. In 2013, real median household income was 8.0 percent lower than in 2007, the year before the latest recession." Note, that is HOUSEHOLD income, meaning an entire American family makes (before taxes) in an entire year almost exactly what that (ugly!) coat costs. (Aside: by comparison, Brigite Macron's little black daydress was perfect.)

Democrats, how on earth are you losing? Have you asked yourself that? Like maybe you should read your horoscope or some shit, look for a clue.

If democrats slapped their collective dick on the table, it'd make the sound of biscuit dough. The president colluded with our Big Bad Always Enemy to win control of our government, and the democrats go at that in the news every morning as if they are trying to defend their comparative literature dissertation to their uninterested extended midwestern family.

Dear democrats,

Nobody in middle America gives the slightest shit about your ph.d.

Sincerely, Duh.

I mean, seriously, how hard can it possibly be to get your hands the guy's tax returns, etcetcetc? STOP TALKING AND FUCK HIM already, jeezus christmas oye vei :/

Oh Angela, I know just how you feel.

nap - niall horan

WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST: ARIES: Someone is getting hooked on you, and someone else is becoming quite jealous. TAURUS: Enjoy the rewards that come from being vocal about what you want and need. GEMINI: You know what you're good at, and you'll prove it. CANCER: Share your story, even if you don't think it's very interesting. The originator often doesn't get how fascinating their own journey can be to others. LEO: A prize goes to you, namely because you're the only one who sees it as a prize. VIRGO: Your imagination has magnetic properties, but that's only one of your many attractive qualities. People feel comfortable and safe around you. LIBRA: It will feel as though you're channeling ideas, love and more from on high. SCORPIO: Family and love may clash, but you'll do a lot more for family than you would do for any other category of person (even when family doesn't deserve it). SAGITTARIUS: Don't let fun lead to overindulgence. CAPRICORN: Always enter with plenty to offer and exit on a sweet note. AQUARIUS: Sometimes conflicts arise to show us that everyone is wrong. PISCES: When you're struck with romantic inspiration, it feels like a magical, mystical experience.

 I read my horoscope like for clues from God whatever (wtf?)

VIRGO. Level-headed to a boring fault, but we are the best sign in bed, we love sex like food, we would never get botulism from gas station nachos because that isn't food so we'd rather starve than eat it in the first place.

CAPRICORN is my rising sign, how I seem to others. Like Virgos only colder-seeming, immovable, judgemental. Loyal like dogs. Highly desired in the friend zone.

PISCES is my moon sign, rules gut reaction. Overly sensitive. Nervousness make me nervous, flattery makes me wince, arousal is consignable, laughing contagious.

And Venus is in LEO for me. Possessive and protective. Self-sufficient. Queenly. Likely to be attracted to mates who lie in shade watching me, feigning disinterest or actually inert.

1+2+3/4

glee - summer nights

rising sign CAPRICORN Regarding relationships: It's true that things aren't the same as they used to be. There's beauty and joy in this. Leo Tolstoy said, "Each time of life has its own kind of love."

VIRGO  Don't worry; it's not really up to you to define yourself. People will come up with their own thoughts and feelings about the experience of you. You're more loved than you could possibly know.

(...okaaay[?])

VIRGO Friends will treat you like family, and family will treat you with the admiration they usually reserve for the most abstract idea of their personal heroes. Enjoy the extra attention.




red hot chili peppers - go robot (catchy) ft kissing strangers - DNCE

Discount Sarah Connor

TJ: what is for dinner tonight?
Me: BBQ ribs and the year's first corn
TJ: wow awesome! What's the chocolate smell?
Me: homemade brownies w teddy gram crumble top, and I am making a fresh batch of your pepper spread too
TJ: Jesus, sweet!, can I blow you?
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
TJ: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Ears: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Me: omg, gigglegigglegiggle
TJ: ok that was super inappropes
Me: hahahahaha ya think?
TJ: yea you can't tell your friends that one
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Ears: don't fucking blog it or whatever
Me: nooooooo (HAHAHAHA)

Might not look like much but moving 3 yards of waterlogged topsoil was a mammoth undertaking + clean the shed + remove the decking + empty and remove yard box +++ The garbage pile is enormous, and the yards now pretty as a picture, the grass seed mixes all mulched and getting watered by warm spring rain. Then, Guardians of the Galaxy. I loove superhero flix, Good versus Evil + jokes. On the way home, the boys started down the list of weekends like this and all such that they're good sports about over the years.

TJ: Remember the time you killed the printer?
Ears: She didn't kill it, she FUCKED IT UP.
Me: (giggle)
TJ: Yea man you were like Discount Sarah Connor beating the shit out of evil tech from the future come to ruin your world.
Me: (gigglegiggle)
Ears: All because the printer cartridge wouldn't go in..
Me: They make those things to fail on purpose! Fucking planned obsolescence!
TJ: You were out in the yard, killing it over and over, 'Don't you think you're hiding under that hosta you son of a bitch!!'
Me: (gigglegigglegiggle)
Ears: I opened the door in the morning to go to the bus and it looked like the killing fields out there, printer body parts strewn all over hell hahahaha
Me: (gigglegiggle)stop(gigglegigglegiggle) ok fine, about once a year I just totally lose my shit, but those are not bad stats if you think about it..
TJ: Uh huh ... remember that one time we were giving you grief about chores and you put your head down on your desk face down and started wailing and wouldn't stop? hahahaha
Ears: hahahahaha I remember that one, I was like FUCK WE BROKE HER hahahahaha
Me: (gigglegigglegigglegiggle)stoooop(giggle)

There is nothing funnier than being made fun of by people who know you really, your weirdnesses and foibles and assholicisms and quirky proclivities.

VIRGO You're naturally self-controlled, polite without effort and inclined to listen to the opinions and stories of others with a level of attention that makes them feel seen and accepted.

All true! That and $5 will get me a Starbucks coffee, big woop!!

VIRGO You mean what you say, but you mean a lot more that you don't say. Some of the messages that you hide in your heart will have their day. And the ones that belong hidden and stay hidden will be felt on the skin like a breeze.

wishful thinking

Alex Cuba, "Yo Sé Quién Soy" 
give it half a minute




Love this show, LOVElovelove Neil..

 VIRGO: Make it as simple as possible for someone to do as you would prefer.

(Could it ever be so simple and straight up as just asking?)

Shawn Colvin - Looking for the heart of Saturday night

off the grid

VIRGO When William Blake suggested, "Love seeketh not itself to please nor for itself hath any care," he wasn't considering your co-dependent tendencies. You're healthier in a love that does please you, and abundantly so.

the hermit

weekend love horoscopes

VIRGO: When things happen to you, who's the first one you want to tell?  

"When Le Pen felt herself stumbling, she tried to goad Macron, laughing at him, shaking her head, and tossing out thinly veiled insults and allusions to his private life. At one point she accused him of “playing student and professor,” a smug reference to the fact he married his high-school drama teacher, who is 24 years older than he is. (Yes, there are some amorous anomalies floating around Macron, but this is France: his wife is very attractive..)"

"playing student and professor", in a presidential debate with the entire world watching, snortgigglegigglegiggle, and that crack helped put him up another 10%. In France, they take their hands off their junk just long enough to vote in a good way.


VIRGO You don't want to spend your time fake laughing (coughcough). No one does! And today you won't have to. Someone can make you laugh for real, and that humor-click will set off a lucky chain of events.

Just this once, Virgo, and for a limited time only, you have cosmic clearance to load up on sugary treats, leave an empty beer can in the woods, watch stupid TV shows, and act uncool in front of the Beautiful People. Why? Because being totally well-behaved and perfectly composed and strictly pure would compromise your mental health more than being naughty. Besides, if you want to figure out what you are on the road to becoming, you will need to know more about what you’re not.


Mercury has been retro. It just went direct. That means communicating has been eek fraught bullshitprone very recently. I don't really go in for that stuff much anymore except when I launch a spell like a boobie trapped frisbee in self defense. But maybe now folks will stop saying shit they don't mean or texting people they don't want or whatever whateverwhatever hurtful crap, a little bit less, for a while..that would be good. And whatever ya wanna get out there actually will be easier (less constipated) which would be good too.


A Cuba, "Yo Sé Quién Soy

If only an Alpha Romeo really did it for me. Ya know?
Queenie brunettes and redheads agree, we don't care. 

"... is used to taking risks, if his personal life is any guide."

This is my fave current morning news headline thread. That guy is what will save the EU, without whom we get WWIII. And the only thing he is known for is having the balls to nail his teacher.

TJ: well that's a fairly badass thing to be known for
Me: ya think?
TJ: it's a lot better than being known for being a racist. Or for wanting to bang your own daughter.
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHA right

The entire world cannot get enough of pics of Macron and his wife kissing. And Europe is stacking up the moxy of their shamelessly into each other against WWIII and giving moxy the odds. Thank you France for making sex great again.

 VIRGO. There's just no time to be self-conscious (Fuck It), because you're so focused on experiencing all you can...