WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST: ARIES: Someone is getting hooked on you, and someone else is becoming quite jealous. TAURUS: Enjoy the rewards that come from being vocal about what you want and need. GEMINI: You know what you're good at, and you'll prove it. CANCER: Share your story, even if you don't think it's very interesting. The originator often doesn't get how fascinating their own journey can be to others. LEO: A prize goes to you, namely because you're the only one who sees it as a prize. VIRGO: Your imagination has magnetic properties, but that's only one of your many attractive qualities. People feel comfortable and safe around you. LIBRA: It will feel as though you're channeling ideas, love and more from on high. SCORPIO: Family and love may clash, but you'll do a lot more for family than you would do for any other category of person (even when family doesn't deserve it). SAGITTARIUS: Don't let fun lead to overindulgence. CAPRICORN: Always enter with plenty to offer and exit on a sweet note. AQUARIUS: Sometimes conflicts arise to show us that everyone is wrong. PISCES: When you're struck with romantic inspiration, it feels like a magical, mystical experience.

 I read my horoscope like for clues from God whatever (wtf?)

VIRGO. Level-headed to a boring fault, but we are the best sign in bed, we love sex like food, we would never get botulism from gas station nachos because that isn't food so we'd rather starve than eat it in the first place.

CAPRICORN is my rising sign, how I seem to others. Like Virgos only colder-seeming, immovable, judgemental. Loyal like dogs. Highly desired in the friend zone.

PISCES is my moon sign, rules gut reaction. Overly sensitive. Nervousness make me nervous, flattery makes me wince, arousal is consignable, laughing contagious.

And Venus is in LEO for me. Possessive and protective. Self-sufficient. Queenly. Likely to be attracted to mates who lie in shade watching me, feigning disinterest or actually inert.

1+2+3/4