Friday, July 31, 2009


Thursday, July 30, 2009

Thursday, July 23, 2009

bela karoli - summertime this sounds like cellos soulfucking

Saturday, July 18, 2009



I moved 3 yards of mulch today. That’s a lot. It took most of the day, until the dust of it had caked onto my sun screen and I looked like a white kid painted up for jungle warfare – ever notice how that brings out the little girl in their faux tough faces? I thought about losses, life losses and what you get out of them, and I listened to the scrape of my shovel on the asphalt repeating. I thought about how odd it is that all these sensations have cues already, like the sound of burying something (‘scrapeplopscrapeplop’). I told myself a joke or two and caught myself like Ears catches me sometimes, mumbling into thin air. I reflected on the soulmate concept, the “it” factor, which is in conversations around me a lot lately. I laughed to think that my soulmate is in Lewiston Maine right now, with a vague sensation that something’s a little off but he’d rather not think about it and he’s good at that; he’s busy curing maple syrup with solar panels made of old hub caps, he might not be between marriages right now actually, and he’ll be so late for my show that it won’t be until a future lifetime that he shows up and then we’ll meet as bullfrogs in a post-apocalypse bayou: “By. Gones. [?] Oy. Vei. O. kay. Bud. Weis. Er. [Eye. Roll.] Ha. Ha. Ha.”

"There'll Be Some Changes Made," Billie Holiday

Wednesday, July 15, 2009



for virgo: O ye of little faith: Do ye not understand that the events of mid-July through mid-August of 2009 are but the fruition of seeds ye planted in September, October, and November of last year? Do not thank or blame the gods, but only thyself, for the destiny that is upon ye. Now please prepare to assume thy new goodies and perks, O favored one, as well as thy new temptations and headaches, with full knowledge that ye are receiving the exact rewards and responsibilities ye earned many months ago.

bonus track: "The Corner," Allie Moss


Monday, July 13, 2009

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Thursday, July 09, 2009

you can fool with your brother but


for virgo: Your concentration for dicey assignments, like conquering fear and adversity, is sharp. And I bet you'll summon a lot of stamina and resourcefulness if you're pressed to solve a crucial riddle during a turning point in your own personal hero's journey. On the other hand, humdrum details have the potential to flummox you, especially if they involve tasks you're not even that interested in or committed to. The moral of the story: Banish absent-mindedness by keeping yourself focused on only the most riveting challenges.
artists in resonance - missionary man (eurythmics) - this is one in a million, a capella with nothing left wanting from the whole of what voices alone together can do, highest rec

Tuesday, July 07, 2009



there is another lunar eclipse tonight, in capricorn and affecting the earth signs (capricorn and me and taurus) favorably and emphatically and viscerally and in our emotional lives most of all

mood about it: meditative

so I went to the full-moon meditation and took the boys - first time I've gone to one, and didn't know what to expect, and didn't warn the boys. I just sat them down in the midst of it, the only kids, and when the yard full of adults set into chanting the name of God for 31 minutes with their palms joined, the boys locked their palms with the group and took their turns chanting (call and return, like prayer and amen). ears particularly gave himself over to it, projected the name of God better than many adults present, full little gut. Tj, though skeptical, followed our lead and did the same. we did it in the name of peace on earth, we did it the service of anyone we love, we did it to heal ourselves. fiercely proud

Monday, July 06, 2009


for virgo: According to my projections, you will not, in the coming weeks, meet a dark, secretive stranger who'll play you like a violin. [thank goodness] Nor will you be lured to the warehouse district after midnight to pick up the "missing stuff." [lol, I've never heard dick called 'missing stuff' before, have you?] And I highly doubt that you will be invited to join a cult that's conspiring to seize political power following the events of December 21, 2012. [got it, no seizers = no seizures] No, Virgo. Your fate is far more mundane than that. [a shocker that is, eh?] In fact, it's more likely that you will soon meet a bright, forthright stranger who will play you like an accordion. [still = stranger danger] You will be drawn to a convenient location at midday to pick up the "missing stuff." [I'd be just as good with a nap midday, frankly] And you will be invited to become part of a group that has the potential to play a significant role in your quest for meaning in the coming years. [that would be okay]


this voice is an old-school mood: the wrestler, great song at the end of the very good film which I finally got around to watching while I was nursing the pup. we've had a little break-through, the pup and I - our relationship reached a new level of intimacy all of a sudden, guess you could say

Sunday, July 05, 2009


terrible nightmare

Saturday, July 04, 2009


the puppy has been shitting or barfing every few minutes for the last 24 hours - no vet open on the holiday, so not much to do but shove water down his throat with a syringe and clean up the endless putrid mess - I have to keep him locked in the bathroom where there is tile that can be cleaned up and he barks his brains loose over that without ceasing - I bought ear buds, and a bottle of wine. meanwhile, it's the 4th of July so I left the pup in the bathroom for a while to go see fort niagara and fireworks, which was a bit less adventurous than spending the holiday with BaleD's clan as planned but I walked the fort w NuNu and there were 2500 people there pretending to be revolutionaries, all dressed up with some of them painted and in loin clothes (asses painted red-black) to be the native allies and it was oddly very much like the dyke roller derby only not that different. meanwhile, a huge bald guy on skates was apparently hitting on me during the fireworks and I didn't even notice - it's not at all remarkable that I wouldn't notice except for the 'mr clean on skates' factor

Friday, July 03, 2009

Thursday, July 02, 2009

another mother's breaking heart is taking over


Jay Brannan: Zombie (The Cranberries) - the boys love this one, want to hear it again and again. What's it about?, Ears asks, after listening to it a buttgillion times. Having too many bad memories will make you a zombie, I think. (pause) I don't have any bad memories yet - I can't remember even one!, he says. (pause) You're doing a good job with our childhood so far, he adds.