Tuesday, December 25, 2018

VIRGO As it turns out, you're a supernatural being. There's more to you than your past, your present or your future. The day's events will strike a chord in you and you'll feel the truth of your everlasting soul.

Mark? Is that you? What are you still doing in the bardo? It shocks me still that you are dead. But if you are around, you know that. And that I am sorry. So so sorry. I should have at least come. Is it any wonder that I don't want to give any time to anyone anymore? I wish I could talk to you again. You would understand how so many of my actions and inactions now are like marginal notes that read 'here is where you should have stopped / given up / said NO." But what do we know when we are so tenderly young as we were? A child just lives, just does. When we are young, we act and feel without understanding. We don't know yet that we increasingly ensnarl ourselves. And there will come tipping point when our lives are NOW not in the future, we are now living the sum of our choices, which are all in the past and cannot be undone. What of free will then? By midlife, it seems as if there are no more choices to be made except one, to keep living or not. But you didn't even get to choose that.

I pray you were right, I remember you explaining it to me, and how mad Danniel got at you, HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? she yelled, right when you said that we would fall after death, fall and keep falling, until we chose to reach out and again embrace life, in blind instinctive faith in it, and whenever that reach came, that moment would determine when and how and to whom and as what we would be reborn. It is all choice, all of life, from before we are born and again afterward, it is all "a matter of perspective".

culture club - time