The studio owner emailed me. I went. He didn’t have insurance, lost everything. Like the Amish, they don’t believe in insurance. For the ones who can’t not, the practices will resume in his home, which turns out to be an artist loft one-room typa deal – the BMW I thought was his belongs to a doctor who rented space in the church too – that he shares with one of the instructors. We went to see alternative rental spaces for the new studio. I’m not sure what this will mean. I have the feeling it will mean something.
He was smiling. I thought that was kind of . . . I dunno, kind of mostly admirable and a bit nutso. He/they, the rest of “us”, really and truly believe the mantras: that one has nothing to lose because one came into the world with nothing. The only thing that is real to them is themselves, and the self is fleeting besides. Ultimately their own selves are their works of art, but sand art, not to be clung to [in fear]. (pause) Indifference is part of despondence which is hopelessness which is a NO NO for me too much to unclench. I can’t get to relinquishment of clinging to life and to things I love. I want to want to . . . but end up wanting to build a house more hahah :/
He was smiling. I thought that was kind of . . . I dunno, kind of mostly admirable and a bit nutso. He/they, the rest of “us”, really and truly believe the mantras: that one has nothing to lose because one came into the world with nothing. The only thing that is real to them is themselves, and the self is fleeting besides. Ultimately their own selves are their works of art, but sand art, not to be clung to [in fear]. (pause) Indifference is part of despondence which is hopelessness which is a NO NO for me too much to unclench. I can’t get to relinquishment of clinging to life and to things I love. I want to want to . . . but end up wanting to build a house more hahah :/
The Twilight Singers (w Mark Lanegan) - Live with me (Massive Attack cover)
