"Blower's Daughter (Damien Rice cover)," Amy Kuney

The Lanyard
Billy Collins

The other day I was ricocheting slowly
off the blue walls of this room,moving as if underwater from typewriter to piano,from bookshelf to an envelope lying on the floor,when I found myself in the L section of the dictionary
where my eyes fell upon the word lanyard.

No cookie nibbled by a French novelist
could send one into the past more suddenly—a past where I sat at a workbench at a camp
by a deep Adirondack lake
learning how to braid long thin plastic strips
into a lanyard, a gift for my mother.

I had never seen anyone use a lanyard
or wear one, if that’s what you did with them,
but that did not keep me from crossing
strand over strand again and again
until I had made a boxyred and white lanyard for my mother.

She gave me life and milk from her breasts,
and I gave her a lanyard.
She nursed me in many a sick room, lifted spoons of medicine to my lips,
laid cold face-cloths on my forehead,
and then led me out into the airy light and taught me to walk and swim,
and I, in turn, presented her with a lanyard.

Here are thousands of meals, she said,
and here is clothing and a good education.
And here is your lanyard, I replied,
which I made with a little help from a counselor.
Here is a breathing body and a beating heart,
strong legs, bones and teeth,and two clear eyes to read the world, she whispered,
and here, I said, is the lanyard I made at camp.

And here, I wish to say to her now,
is a smaller gift—not the worn truth
that you can never repay your mother,
but the rueful admission that when she took
the two-tone lanyard from my hand, I was as sure as a boy could be
that this useless, worthless thing I wove
out of boredom would be enough to make us even.

from Belief and Technique for Modern Prose Jack Kerouac, thirty essentials:

Scribbled secret notebooks, and wild typewritten pages, for your own joy
Submissive to everything, open, listening
Try never get drunk outside your own house
Be in love with your life
Something that you feel will find its own form
Be crazy dumbsaint of the mind
Blow as deep as you want to blow
Write what you want bottomless from bottom of the mind
The unspeakable visions of the individual
No time for poetry but exactly what is
Visionary tics shivering in the chest
In tranced fixation dreaming upon object before you
Remove literary, grammatical and syntactical inhibition
Like Proust be an old teahead of time
Telling the true story of the world in interior monolog
The jewel center of interest is the eye within the eye
Write in recollection and amazement for yrself
Work from pithy middle eye out, swimming in language sea
Accept loss forever
Believe in the holy contour of life
Struggle to sketch the flow that already exists intact in mind
Don't think of words when you stop but to see picture better
Keep track of every day the date emblazoned in yr morning
No fear or shame in the dignity of yr experience, language & knowledge
Write for the world to read and see yr exact pictures of it
Bookmovie is the movie in words, the visual American form
In praise of Character in the Bleak inhuman Loneliness
Composing wild, undisciplined, pure, coming in from under, crazier the better
You're a Genius all the time
"Compared to What," Gow Dow Experience

and fyi, the moon entered Virgo today, sooo if you've got a closet to clean now's the time: The Virgo moon nudges us to get it together in terms of health. It’s not just about fitness or nutrition, though; it’s about harmonizing our body, mind and spirit. Improvements in any one area will favorably affect the others. Instead of resolving to make a big change, take action in some small way. Efforts of any size are rewarded. Virgo knows how to show ya a good time, huh?

during, v.1

Hey remember [that post about] the Westside garden walk? The story that was being taped that day finally aired. Listen here. I love the part mid-story when the plot turns, and his neighbors stop thinking he's crazy hahahahah - didn't I say that very same thing about that very day?

nonattachment:[the arrow appears ominous]

what I'm listening to: susan tedeschi - can't sleep at night

"Ain't No Sunshine," Lyn Collins

bonus:Girls In Hawaii - Out On The Weekend (Neil Young)

for virgo: While the planets are advising other signs to play the ‘wait and see’ game, you’re being advised to initiate an overdue heart-to- heart. It’s definitely a day to clear the air. Perhaps you’re not the only one who has something to say. What you hear may surprise you, but in a positive way! [huh . . .

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Meanwhile, I'm still reading about meditation. Check it out: "Well, meditation is like sex - what you bring to it is what you get! In fact, the meditative traditions suggest that your motivation determines the outcome of your practice as much as the technique you use or the time you spend . . . Take sex, for example. If you do it out of lust or boredom or fear, your sexual pleasure will be permeated by the flavor of the feeling that motivated you. But if you have sex as a heartfelt expression of love for your partner, you may move in the same way, touch the same places, use the same techniques - but you'll have an exponentially different experience." See? It's supposed to feel entirely sensual technically speaking, so it's just the FRETFUL part that's my problem.

Actually, via yoga meditation I really do all but one thing on the 'How to live in Harmony with Your Meditation' list already: I can't manage nonattachment. Failing at that one thing is A Big Problem even though I'm down with all the other aspects. (So guess that's what I'm working on, eh?) In this book I'm reading now, there's a meditation for imagining all the people you love as dying tomorrow and it's supposed to lead you to appreciating them in the present - it nearly gave me a heart attack. I made it through the one where I'm dying tomorrow, but the other, oh nooooooooooooo waaaaaaaaaaaaaay. It just made me want to drink beer. In fact, I'm gonna look at some puppy porn right now in weepy recoil from that attempt to theoretically unattach. (Smedley is super cute.)

It's f'd up that I think this is hilarious, right? I mean, um, around 1:56 when the guy is kinda starting to plunger the bird w/ the backward glance grin hahahaha . . . and then at 3:00 "I'll be in charge of the turkey!" omgLOL

self help reading + music

what I'm listening to: cnsy- helplessly hoping her harlequin hovers near by awaiting a word

one that is present: as a: the actual person or thing that is present b: something present of a visible or concrete nature > 6: something (as a spirit) felt or believed to be present . . . presence information is a status indicator that conveys ability and willingness of a potential communication partner - for example a user to communicate . . . . Presence is highly sensitive information and in non-trivial systems a presentity may define limits to which its presence information may be revealed to different watchers . . .

for virgo today: Thanks to a couple of positive influences romance is looking favorable today, but only if you manage to overcome your natural shyness to say hello to someone. Make sure that you’re looking your best and wearing your favorite scent. Little details like this will help boost your flagging confidence! [I should have stopped reading at 'only if']

before

self help reading + music

In classical mechanics, momentum (pl. momenta; SI unit kg·m/s, or, equivalently, N·s) is the product of the mass and velocity of an object (p = mv). For more accurate measures of momentum, see the section "modern definitions of momentum" on this page. It is sometimes referred to as linear momentum to distinguish it from the related subject of angular momentum. Linear momentum is a vector quantity, since it has a direction as well as a magnitude. Angular momentum is a pseudovector quantity because it gains an additional sign flip under an improper rotation. The total momentum of any group of objects remains the same unless outside forces act on the objects (law of conservation of momentum).
Momentum is a conserved quantity, meaning that the total momentum of any closed system (one not affected by external forces) cannot change.

dj Cheb i Sabbahs remix - hari om shiva om

tracy chapman - thinking of you

for virgo: Your confidence is high. You’re not even sure what it will take you to move forward, but you’re absolutely sure that whatever it is, you have it, or you’ll find a way to come up with it.

this is pretty awesome, imogen heap 'just for now' a cappella:

God left the ground to circle the world.

Then there he was, coming along the line outside just getting into the building after going to the Knox looking at the pavement, and he was not 10 ft from me and I saw him and he was (in addition to all other perfections) about 5ft 8" (dead level, basically, manwise) and he caught my eye for a split second over the shoulder of a person I was with looking at me, and he tucked his hair behind his ear - and although I am happy enough that I did not, I could have also happily expired right there on the spot. (But then I'd have missed the show.)



I'm verrrrrrry rarely like this, but when I am then I am. In love.

In case you missed it, try again tomorrow.

taurus moon thru backyard canopy 11-12-08

cat power - to be a good woman

Then spoke the poor dead thistle,
"But I, how shall I dance?"
Let your heart fly to the wind
We said.

Then God spoke from above,
"How shall I descend from the blue?"

For Those Who Do Not Dance - Gabriela Mistral

THE FULL TAURUS MOON: It has arrived in all its round glory, ready to deliver on all promises. Taurus, the bull, is the ruler of appetite. It’s not a coincidence that the Taurus full moon falls around Thanksgiving. The most basic meaning of the word “appetite” pertains to the desire for food or drink. The bounty of the harvest season is served up to great effect during this time, as Taurus is always sure to present things in a sensually stirring light. The mouth starts to water just thinking about it! And now it’s also time to think about your appetites that go beyond the meal. What is it that you crave out of life? What glowing prize makes the struggle worthwhile to you? Taurus energy is strongly determined and will aid in the attainment of any goal. Taurus teaches us that there is great power in being still and getting focused. Think of the calm, massive, seemingly immobile bull standing in the pasture. His mind seems blank, and that is the key. The same creature is capable of running at top speed with immense power to spear any obstacle in the way of his target. Empty your mind and gather your power.

Islands in The Stream by The Constantines and Feist[at soundlab in bflo dec 4, fyi, just as wilco will be in rochester . . . ]

for virgo this week: For many people, 10:30 a.m. is the single best time of day to come up with fresh insights and new ideas. But that won't exactly be true for you in the coming week. I mean, 10:30 will be a time when you're likely to be really smart, but then so will 11:30, 1:05, 2:37, 3:46, and 4:20. For that matter, 6:35 may also bring a gush of high intelligence, as well as 7:27, 8:19, and the last ten minutes before bedtime. What I'm trying to tell you, Virgo, is that you're in a phase when being brilliant should come pretty naturally. [perfect timing]

We love life if we find a way to it.
And we plant, where we settle, some fast growing plants, and harvest the dead.

--Mahmoud Darwish
(translated from the Arabic by Fady Joudah)

jadoo - tantric body reprise

I'm trying to learn "grounding meditation" for which I've been counseled to seek the aid of music, especially patterned music, bells on repeat whatever . . . I dunno, either this stuff just makes me horny [aside: 'horny' is a stupid sounding word], or meditating just makes me horny, or when I meditate I notice more that I'm horny or something like that, then eventually I'm just irritable and overtired. Is that 'grounded'? I dunno that I've ever been 'grounded', except earth-sign-wise, so maybe it feels like you're tied to the ground with ropes of fretful horniness . . . that'd be just my luck . . .

self help reading + music

djfree&lewis - chakra rhythm (you're welcome) (especially the mixed lyre? that starts up apx 5:15) - if you hold still and do nothing but listen to this once through, your heart rate slows 10 beats per minute. it's 10 min long

extollo : to praise exaggerate / decorate, adorn. extollo : to lift up, raise up, erect / elevate, exalt. extorqueo : to twist, wrench, dislocate / extort by force. extra : (prep. + acc.) beyond, outside. extremus : outermost, last, extreme. exturbo : to drive away, thrust out. exulto : to exult, be joyful. exuro, exussum : burn down, burn, set on fire. exustio : burning up, conflagration.
Ffabula : fable, story, tale, play. facile : easily. facilis : easy, agreeable, affable, pleasant. facillimus : easiest, most agreeable, pleasantest facina -oris : bad deed, crime, villainy / deed, action. facio : to sacrifice, suit, help, be of service. facio : to give permission / to experience, suffer (troubles). facio : (trans.) to make, do, act, perform, cause, bring about. factum : deed, accomplishment, work, act, achievement. facultas : power, means, opportunity, capacity, ability, stock. facundia : facultas : feasibility, opportunity, resources, abundance. facunditas : fertility, quickness or readiness of speech. faenum fenum : hay. falsus : false, deceptive. fama : talk, report, rumor, tradition. familia : family, household. familiaris : belonging to a household / friendly, intimate. famulatus : servitude, slavery, service. famulus : servant. fas est :: it is right, it is fitting, it is lawful. fas : divine law or command / fate, destiny Infinity (symbolically represented with ∞) comes from the Latin infinitas or "unboundedness." It refers to several distinct concepts – usually linked to the idea of "without end" – which arise in philosophy, mathematics, and theology.
In mathematics, "infinity" is often used in contexts where it is treated as if it were a number (i.e., it counts or measures things: "an infinite number of terms") but it is a different type of "number" from the real numbers. The precise origin of the infinity symbol, , is unclear. One possibility is suggested by the name it is sometimes called—the lemniscate, from the Latin lemniscus, meaning "ribbon". Another theory implies that its origin derives from the respective paganistic symbol, which is supposed to symbolise the total of numbers; its shape is said to represent the repetition.
It is also possible that it is inspired by older religious/alchemical symbolism. For instance, it has been found in Tibetan rock carvings, and the ouroboros, or infinity snake, is often depicted in this shape.
John Wallis is usually credited with introducing as a symbol for infinity in 1655 in his De sectionibus conicis. One conjecture about why he chose this symbol is that he derived it from a Roman numeral for 1000 that was in turn derived from the Etruscan numeral for 1000, which looked somewhat like CIƆ and was sometimes used to mean "many." Another conjecture is that he derived it from the Greek letter ω (omega), the last letter in the Greek alphabet.[3]
Another popular belief is that the infinity symbol is a clear depiction of the hourglass turned 90°. Obviously, this action would cause the hourglass to take infinite time to empty thus presenting a tangible example of infinity. The invention of the hourglass predates the existence of the infinity symbol allowing this theory to be plausible.

chinmaya dunster - purnima namashkar (crown chakra, or thousand-petalled lotus)

about 10 days's difference in the backyard autumn canopy

keb mo - america the beautiful

I take it to heart: change one material thing and everything changes incrementally but inexorably from there. Just one thing does it, because that is the law of physics, the law of Everything.