fink, this is the thing

Teeth
Knees
Eyes
Memory
Like these, the heart can fail to last a lifetime.

Extract
Replace with plastic
Protect from sunlight
Live as it crumbles, becoming fragments,
seizing bolts of random feeling.

It is my firm conviction that human nature is essentially compassionate and gentle. That is the predominant feature of human nature. Anger, violence, and aggression may arise, but on a secondary or more superficial level; in a sense, they arise when we are frustrated in our efforts to achieve love and affection. ~Dalai Lama

thank god xmas is over - but new years eve looms

I can't figure out how to get the cable to work on the tv. It took 2 dudes on 2 separate occasions of favors their wives made them do for me to get it outa the car and then outa the box, and after all that I can't figure out how to make the pic the same size as the tv, so it's a shitty little tv screen in a thingy as big as a house.

Cal is fine. And ON MY NERVES.

The back of my neck feels one inch long, my shoulders hunched tight around me ears, pressure behind my 3rd eyeball.

Cal threw up his xmas dinner Exorcist-style - I spent the night reading ft. sleeping at his feet on the couch. Can 3d f up your equilibrium? He seems ok now . .

Sigh. It's harder to fight depression when you're overtired.

tron in 3d - the place was jammed - a sea of glasses on eager faces atop xmas clothes - the white stripes ft eurythmics, sweet dreams are made of seven nation army - hold your head up

shamans drum dance - david and steve gordon. ‎"Presence allows communication and communication seeks communion." ~ Louis Martinie

VIRGO The way you unite people is heartening. You remind everyone that we are in this together.

what's the altitude f hymnal - cut chemist

the I'm outa here ft. nobody cares if you go card (or travel . . . last time I pulled it about him, FPH was in Boston, but this time my vaulted intuition says "if you're standing around talking to yourself, you might as well walk away, nobody will f'n notice ft. you're a f'n loser and you ain't getting a hockey magnet for xmas either ya stupid bitch. p.s. that tv isn't getting itself outa that box, so you're fucked btw")

Eight of Cups
In search of something missing in life. Searching for a piece of the puzzle to a loving relationship or fulfilling life. A person in search of loving partner. Patterns have been repeated only to give same outcome. A letting go. Going forth alone to find happiness and fulfillment. Improvement of a difficult situation. New hope and vitality. Weariness and apathy.

VIRGO You might be looking for help and love in all the wrong places. Think about the person you want to meet and the particular traits and skills this person needs to have in order to coexist with you in the way you prefer.

bored bla except for banging djembe



I'm w the kid (the YO! at 13 sec's slays me! omg adults suck ass compared to that, you can keep your bullshit, yo)

Polyrhythms in tap dance can also be obsverved in the relation of dancer to musician, the dancer steps inside the rhythms of the musicians. . a Dan dancer from the northeast of Liberia demonstrate[s] the dancer/drummer relationship: "He enters the ring in the village square first to salute the 'master drummer', to 'get his motion', ie to settle the basic rhythm. He then begins a toe-dragging sequence, kept simple, because the drummer is studying his motion. Slowly he develops his dance; he must keep the drummer active with counter-balances of percussive footwork." ~Kariamu Welsh-Asante, African Dance

yeah like that - like earlier today when I played Shorty (the drum) for the first time (jeesh is he loud, holy crap, no place to hide while you're learning w that dude as your drum, ha) in the group, then stopped a while and I was reading a book and kind of dancing, then started dancingdancing and the drums all picked it up, and if they'd stop then I'd have to stop but vice versa too. Sunnie drifted from bongos, ie supporting my dancing, to dancing herself, and back again.

after 24 hours of making music like that, I see pretty clearly that it's like yoga in that it'll subtley change my signature vibration as I'm just standing around Being whatever, my molecules will reorganize around the practice.

old fave imogen is also getting into trancedance, the chillversion soundtrack to which is otherwise known as smoove

imogen heap ft trentmoeller - colatron - headlock someones missing

(meanwhile, suuuuuuucks asssssss, lordy they'r all kindsa useless)

project your energy in arcs of grace and gratitude

Might there be a message for you in the mist on the window? Can you find a clue to the next phase of your destiny by scanning a newspaper that the wind blows against your leg as you're walking? Be alert for the undertones, Virgo. Tune in to the subtexts. Scan the peripheries for the future as it reveals itself a little early. You never know when the hidden world might be trying to slip you a tip. You should be alert for the deeper storylines weaving themselves just below the level where the supposedly main plot is unfolding.

I went to the spiral dance again last night, the annual winer solstice drumming thing. I danced frontcenter: I can be possessed. It's partly a yoga ability, since I've been practicing yoking my spirit to my body and getting my mind outa the way for years now, and that's what the drumming is also for - I'm good at it, being a DrumEE, better all the time (though I have months of set-back too), I can lose self-consciousness. (I'd like to dance on hotcoals someday.)

Then I came home and meditated, cz once your mind is already out of the way, you can get a lot deeper.

There's an eclipse coming up - the lunar eclipse from midnight-6 a.m. on Tuesday 21st will be a whopper. We will be able to see the whole thing from here unless there's cloud cover, and it's going to be one of the longest in modern history, nearly 3 hours visible (+3 of pre-darkening and pre-lightening on either side of that = 6 total). It's gonna look like one of those things that if you weren't all modern and sophisticated, like if you couldn't scientifically explain away what you were looking at, it'd scare the mother fucking shit outa you. Because of the phase of the moon at the time, It's going to hit mutable signs (long astral explanation short: Gemini, Virgo, Pisces) and and it comes on the cusp of Capricorn rising. The eclipse is on the soltice, the longest night of the year, (that won't happen again til 2094). Full moons can be scary (just ask Norfolk), eclipses double the effect, soltices quadroople that, kinda like a cluster fuck to the 10th power basically.

So anyway, I meditated for a few hours, an hour before sleep then again at 4:00 like a good yogini. Most of what came to me is notwords, the rest not easily translated into words. This is though: I'm not sure who my friends are; I'm not entirely sure who is on that list, and I'm not entirely sure who those people are who are on my list; maybe that means you're not sure of me either; it probably does.

the fall - love love this, sounds like someone mercifully scrubbing caked-up shit off your soul - I bought 5 of them ($1/per download) so I could post it without guilt

WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST: ARIES: Dare to challenge your loved one's opinions. You'll be respected for this. TAURUS: You like to feel the attention of a partner, but you are in no way looking for someone to take care of you. GEMINI: How do you know someone is falling in love with you? It's in the eyes. CANCER: You don't have to go anywhere expensive or fancy to have a grade-A moment with the one you love. LEO: Your attention and flirtation is very effective. You make others feel good. VIRGO: Whether you've been with your love for years or just a week, you'll share childhood memories and bond like never before. LIBRA: You listen carefully, and you never betray the confidence of your friends. SCORPIO: Someone approaches you for comfort, and you deliver it. SAGITTARIUS: You are not demanding, but you do expect your dates to behave on par with certain very reasonable social standards. CAPRICORN: Your eyes adore your loved one, even when you're trying to convey frustration or disappointment. Face it, you are head over heels. AQUARIUS: Loved ones have a hidden need to be challenged by you. PISCES: Your ambition and drive will attract those who have similar attributes.

Mercury's retrograde in Capricorn is in full swing. This transit combined with a restless void-of-course moon makes for some interesting delays. There is nothing that is inherently designed to make you frustrated and impatient. Feeling that way is always a choice. Consider that however time may be unfolding, it's happening at the perfect rate.

update: I took the bongos back. Virgos do not play bongoes. Alone this time (Sunnie, god bless her, is a fun slut like my mom), I chose a djembe. He's short, weighs a ton, makes loud sudden sounds, has a booming empty place of bass in his middle if you tap him just right, is an immigrant (from a vague point of origin, "coafrica"). All the drummers on hand told me that this one, although you'd never guess right off, cz he didn't cost all that much and wasn't painted/blinged at all etc etc, was THE drum, the only REAL one in the room full of em. Carved by hand from a solid log of mahogany, visible gouges, a head made of thick goathide.

So, I took him home. We have to get through the gettoknowyou stage now, but he makes good sounds already, he's cueing up some good noise for me right off. I honestly appreciate that.

Exploding is not slow like burning
a bridge takes some time.

A self of secrets like a clutch of eggs,
out of reach, protected so they tell you
your bleeding animal instincts.

Crossing to within shouting distance,
not close enough to whisper,
lighting little fires one by one,
where we would step used for kindling.

Until the bridge is gone.
There are no intimate enemies if we are alone.
(An insane assumption.)

One of us is on the continent presumably.
Either you leave me on a prison island of safety,
or I leave you on one.
But no. We putter.
Hugging the opposite shores,
hoping for the best over there where you are
over here where I am.
Not bothering to shout the obvious question into the wind.

get off - 7:10-7:50, still cracking me up, omg this dude is so god damn funny

bongos suck ass, stuuupid

If you have drawn Hawk reversed, it may be because something in your life has
become too painful to feel, too unbelievable to hear, or too dark to see . . . .

I got a set of bongos, trying to learn how to play them - it's wayyyy harder than this seems



I think I might be hand-eye-coordination flat-out retarded - but I wanna be able to play along with this esp around the 5 minute lull and swell. Je suis ze grande zombi but for the boyz singing "come kill the unicorn corn!", their giggles drawing me back.

VIRGO Your focus is strong. You will be prone to anchor yourself on a single subject. The trick is to pick one worthy of the energy and passion that you are likely to pour into it.

VIRGO Usually, when you treat others right, they will treat you right, too. Unfortunately, the scale of right and wrong is not made up of a standardized system of measurement. Everyone thinks of this differently.

stunningly apparent

VIRGO You are made up of more energy than physical matter. It's a strange thing to realize, but once you do, you will be able to control your world to a much greater extent.

ala mercury retrograde, I never did make it anywhere last night, but blessing in disguise: it was better to be home, in front of my fire, with a friend listening to music and working some stuff out in my aching head.

then at 8:30ish this morning, the phone rings, M from work, the queen of hurt feelings, got attacked really nutty bad at 3 a.m. by dragqueen of hurt feelings - luckily the attack was contained by technology (email/phone) and that dragqueen lives across the border, cz she was clearly drunk and I know has had to have cops called to a domestic disturbance (she beats up her girlfriends) at least once and she is a scary harpy let me tell ya. . . . and so, well, what's she gonna do?, what can she do?, she can't open her work email without finding some seriously nutty accusations and f-bombs galore in crazyass changing font sizes and whatnot, and she can't not open her work emails or answer her office phone cz that's part of her job . . . sooooo, well, logically enough she calls the Faculty President.

ha. I can't even get a tv out of my car, it took me literally 3 days to manage that, and now the tv is defrosting in my dining room, me with no clue how to plug it in or move the old one out of the way, etc. I'm on the phone with M as Sunnie's men are moving the frozen tv inside finally (glumly hahaha) and I'm telling M the tv story as its current chapter is unfolding, and so at least I could make her laugh.

but then I had to say "I'll figure something out. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, but I'm supposed to do something, and I'll figure it out." and I haven't even the foggiest notion. that nutty bitch is tenured, almost impossible to even censure, and really is starting to feel like someone who's gonna end up on the news. my only idea so far: get her to punch me. (ya know you get your enemy to hang from the end of a rope? answer: give them a lot of it and wait.) then I can get her fired and physically removed from the campus. (but what if she shoots me instead? that's the rub) I wish I were entirely kidding.

fyi mercury just went into retrograde til the 30th - expect the worst

(yes I have been blogging nothing, bc Nothing is what I've had to say)

in case you have a lovelife:
WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST: ARIES: Relationships take time to develop. The magic happens when you're not trying so hard. TAURUS: Listen fully -- no interrupting. Being too quick on the uptake will make your love feel rushed. GEMINI: You're not trying to charm anyone, and that's probably why others find you so charming. CANCER: The positive associations and feelings you have for a person may have very little to do with who that person really is. LEO: Some of your best times will happen in the space between the main events. VIRGO: Your upright posture is most alluring. Besides, slouching makes you feel depressed! LIBRA: You and a loved one will pitch in equally to ease a burden. SCORPIO: Though there's a lot to be said for planning ahead, ultimately, it's your creativity that brings a date to life. SAGITTARIUS: Love thrives when you give equal credence to the practical and the frivolous. CAPRICORN: There's much to be said for basic pleasantries, especially between couples who have been together for ages. AQUARIUS: Emotional warmth and kindness trump animal magnetism. PISCES: When you ask questions geared toward getting a positive response, that's what you'll get.

eating pizza til I bust my britches watching hockey

monday. snow. stomach ache. meetings. no fun no fun no fun and more no fun

There is a big difference between being direct and being blunt. Yesterday, the lunar influence may have tempted you to state more than was necessary. If you did, you can rectify the resulting hurt feelings under today's affable astral conditions. Humble yourself enough to see the humor in your folly, and others will laugh it off, too -- no harm, no foul.

One afternoon, in the spring before his death, George, his illness consolidating, decided to dictate his memories and anecdotes from his life into a tape recorder. His wife was out shopping and so he took the recorder down to his work desk in the basement. He opened the door between his workshop and tool shop. There was a woodstove in the tool shop, between the drill press and metal lathe. He crumpled up some old newspaper and put it in the stove, along with three logs from the half cord of wood he kept stacked in a remote corner of the shop, near the door to the bulkhead. He lit a fire and adjusted the flue, hoping to warm the concretey chill of the basement. He returned to his desk in the workshop. There was a cheap microphone plugged into the tape machine that would not stay upright on the clip collared around it. The clip was so light that the twist in the wire running from the microphone to the recorder kept flicking it over. George tried to straighten the wire, but the microphone would not stand, so he merely placed it on top of the tape recorder. The levers on the recorder were heavy and required some effort to push down before they clicked into place. Each was labeled with a cryptic abbreviation and George had to experiment with them before he felt confident he had found the right combination for recording his voice. The tape in the recorder had a faded pink label upon which had been typed, Early Blues Compilation, Copyright Hal Broughton, Jaw Creek, Pennsylvania. George recalled that he and his wife had bought the tape at one or another of the Elderhostel college courses they had taken during one or another summers ago. When George first pressed the PLAY lever, a man's voice, thin and remote, warbled about a hellhound on his trail. Rather than rewind the tape, George felt that such a complaint might be a good introduction to his talk, so he just began recording. He leaned forward into the microphone with his arms crossed and resting on the edge of the desk, as if he were answering questions at a hearing. He began formally: My name is George Washington Crosby. I was born in West Cove, Maine, in the year 1915. I moved to Enon, Massachusetts, in 1936. And so on. After these statistics, he found that he could think of only doggerel and slightly obscene anecdotes to tell, mostly having to do with foolish stunts undertaken after drinking too much whiskey during a fishing trip and often enough centered on running into a warden with a creel full of trout and no fishing license, or a pistol that a doctor had brought into the woods: If that pistol is nine millimeters, I'll kiss your bare, frozen ass right out here on the ice; the lyrics to a song called Come Around, Mother, It's Better When You're Awake. And so forth. But after a handful of such stories, he began to talk about his father and his mother, his brother, Joe, and his sisters, about taking night courses to finish school and about becoming a father. He talked about blue snow and barrels of apples and splitting frozen wood so brittle that it range when you split it. He talked about what it is like to be a grandparent for the first time and to think about what it is you will leave behind when you die. By the time the tape ran out about an hour and a half later (after he had flipped it over once, almost without being conscious of doing so), and the RECORD button sprang up with a buzz, he was openly weeping and lamenting the loss of this world of light and hope. So deeply moved, he pulled the cassette from the machine, flipped it back over to the beginning, fitted it back into its snug carriage and capstans and guiding pins, and pressed PLAY, thinking he might preserve such a mood of pure, clean sorrow by listening back to his narrative. He imagined that his memoirs might now sound like those of an admirable stranger, a person he did not know but whom he immediately recognized and dearly loved. Instead, the voice he heard sounded nasaly and pinched and, worse, not very well educated, as if he were a bumpkin who had been called, perhaps even in mockery, to testify about holy things, as if not the testimony but the fumbling through it were the reason for his presence in front of some dire, heavenly senate. He listened to six seconds of the tape before he ejected it and threw it into the fire burning in the woodstove.

I like this.

Meanwhile, what jasper and his retarded little brother are getting for xmas? . . . . tempting. Tj and Ears would LOVE it hahahaha

Although I still haven't gotten my mind wrapped around tv's and all their dizzying specs, I did manage to get one of these today, the last one in New York maybe, since I'd taken to stopping by every day practically just to check to see if maybe one came in and LO! A Miracle! There was ONE!! The salesdude says, "You got lucky today for a change." Ha.

Supposedly, it will play cds and blueray (whatever that is) dvds and stream things from all over the universe and watch me walk across the room and anticipate my every desire (only different). IF I can figure it out, of course, a very big IF.

VIRGO Your approach softens today. You're just not in the mood to move and shake -- you'd rather whisper and glide your way through. You still want what you want, but you're finding a different way to get it.

VIRGO You can't totally control whether you succeed or fail. It's not all in your power. You have much more control over how often you try and how hard -- and also at what point you quit.

cucumbers have wicked souls

my first meeting was at 9 a.m., my last class just ended

WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST: ARIES: You will accurately interpret another person's behavior without having to ask where he or she is coming from. TAURUS: Your sign rules the throat, and you have a truly magical power in your voice. Use it! GEMINI: Do you really want the other person to pursue you? If you're sure, you'll make it happen with your mind. CANCER: You can exist in a state of happiness without needing worldly trappings to do so. LEO: You'll attune yourself to what others want and get what you want in return. VIRGO: You can be powerful and tenderhearted all at once -- an astounding talent. LIBRA: Instead of telling your loved ones how you want them to behave, you'll show them. SCORPIO: You'll stop arguing and start understanding and being understood by the other person. SAGITTARIUS: Move into a new relationship phase so you don't have to constantly talk things over -- which, of course, is the opposite of fun! CAPRICORN: Do what it takes to make yourself feel loved and treasured as you should be. AQUARIUS: You take care of yourself in a way that inspires others to take care of you. PISCES: You'll warm the heart of another person just by being you.

went to the exlaws for the holiday . . . ex didn't . . . often I feel like I got his parents as well as his sons in the split, which is fine (ironic, but fine). best story of the night:

Neil, my ex-dad-in-law and substi-fatherfigure since I checked his book outa my school library just before I met him when I was 21 years old (yes, that's half the reason I married his meanass dickhead kid, let's not dwell on it), goes to this one coffee roaster on Elmwood always for the Italian Dark Roast (of course), and he hands the dude the money and the dude asks him for such-n-such change over the amount so he can give back a larger bill rather than ones, but/and N says 'ugh I can't do computations, math makes me feel vulnerable' and the dude says 'MATH makes you feel vulnerable?' and reaches across the counter and grabs his nipple and gives it a good hard twist. apparently he'd asked N to stay and have coffee before and N hadn't gotten the hint. he's so chill, N is, ya know? he's totally taken aback, but then again it's damn good Italian Roast!, soooo hmmmmm upshot: bygones and next time he'll try harder w the math thing if required. guess you had to be there, but he tells this story so deadpan, like 'ain't that the darndest thing?'

insert funny youtube video here - I wish I had one - I want to keep laughing the holiday off. holidays can make me blue and feel like I'm wasting my life some kinda way, even though I had my little men with me and I painted my bedroom and kitchen cabinets and made two pies and even people who by law and custom should hate me they love me instead . . . I dunno why I'm blue, and I don't care, I just don't want to be, I just want to have HBO (which I do not) and laugh at whatever and shrug the feeling off.

Instead I resolve: no more holidays this way. No more "this way", the friends with benefits limbo ft. I am The Queen mojo, I'm done with it, it's no longer empowering it's just lame and lonely.

happy thanksgiving

florence + the machine - heavy in your arms

How to sculpt and lift your cheeks using face yoga

william fitzimmons - I kissed a girl (katy perry), like the cherry chapstick bit a lot


bonus- anomie belle - down

WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST: ARIES: You'll pour your energy into doing something creative -- that's more attractive than obsessing over one person. TAURUS: Sports and other physical activities help you release tension and make you feel vital and pleasant. GEMINI: You'll enjoy the company of one as courteous and well mannered as you. CANCER: You'll be charmed by one who may not have the attributes you would normally seek in a person. LEO: Leo men are feeling extremely masculine, and Leo women are feeling extremely feminine. VIRGO: You'll accomplish what was left undone last week and still have time to go out and have some fun. LIBRA: Dating will be fun, especially if you don't call it, officially, a "date." SCORPIO: One of your favorite things to do is to make others laugh. You put a smile on someone's face, and this makes you feel happy, too. SAGITTARIUS: You'll be a challenge to get to know, and that's what keeps others coming back for more. CAPRICORN: Success in love is not about how you look, but how you make the other person feel. AQUARIUS: You admire someone and can't help but steal glances of this person's face, hands and body when you get the chance. PISCES: Others feel grounded and secure in your presence.

"We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly," wrote Anais Nin. "We are mature in one realm, childish in another." In you, Virgo, the discrepancies have been especially apparent. For example, often your brainy insightfulness has been on a hot streak, while your gut wisdom has not. But I suspect this situation to shift in the coming weeks. My reading of the astrological omens suggests that your emotional intelligence is set to thrive. It will be fine if you concentrate on that phenomenon with all your heart, even if it means investing a little less energy in being an analytical whiz.



My gut says that chair is fetchin'

VIRGO For long, lovely stretches of time, your mind will be relaxed and unconcerned about what has already happened or might happen. This is the happiness and peace you deserve to have always.

smoove & turrell - I can't give you up (I do love what gets my butt a'shakin as if it's gotta mind of its own, woop woop)
freddie scott - you got what I need (vintage motown)
DJ M.I.F. - You Got The Bakerman (Florence & The Machine vs. Laid Back vs. Moby vs. Michael Jackson) (mash-up chaser)
urban species & imogen heap - blanket
beautiful girls - after all this time (jackjohnsonesque reggae MUAH chill)

:)

he's been "returned", soooo does this mean that we had BORROWED him some kinda way? (headtilt)

VIRGO It's normal to feel reticent about reaching out to new people. You don't know whether you're going to be accepted, and that makes initiating contact scarier to you than bungee jumping! But do it anyway.

Does it have to be a person? cz I was thinking of getting a fish. . . .

went to this. Ed was one of the producers this year, so I got a front row seat and a pass to the after party (which, musicwise, was way better than the show) - all the best music wasn't listed on the program anywhere - a reggae native fusion band from Oregan named Soul Seed was awesome (can't find a website for them), and a local band called The Brotherhood played great stuff plus houseband back-up for just about everybody of every musical variation. casinos are gross though (COUGH), as are perversely grim miserably coupled people. ie I'm choosing to focus on the good, and shower off the smell of the rest, and now go to sleep smelling like warming scrub in an old t-shirt zzzzz

VIRGO You may be all grown up on the outside, but there is a tender part of you that shows up whenever a certain someone comes around. With this person, you let down your guard and become impressionable.

WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST: ARIES: In order to understand the object of your affection, you must understand what he or she does in a day's time. TAURUS: Friends might influence your romantic choices, but at the end of the day, you'll be happier following your own instincts. GEMINI: Loved ones endear themselves to you through kind comments and compassionate ways. CANCER: You will have more offers than time to accommodate them. LEO: No one can pin down your free spirit, but it doesn't keep certain people from trying. VIRGO: You will selflessly give your love without even thinking about how it's going to come back to you. LIBRA: Your private life is a romantic comedy, complete with hilarious misunderstandings -- all's well that ends well. SCORPIO: You are not in the mood to be pursued. You're more intrigued by the one who stands at a distance and waits for you to come. SAGITTARIUS: Loved ones help to make your domestic life run more smoothly, a sweet gift. CAPRICORN: Someone is waiting for you, bring your A-game. AQUARIUS: You don't have to have all of the same interests as your potential date. But if you have at least three things in common, things will go well. PISCES: You hit it off with the family of your beloved, and this makes him or her love you even more.

I took the boyz to a talk by my mentor - the man has done a lot for me, and desite our being rather different souls, a fact which he assures me he rejects. So we go. It turns out it's a right to life debate (sigh, hate hate these, they're the WWF of academic debates).

A thought experiment: you wake in a hospital bed having been kidnapped and hooked up to a one-of-a-kind musical genius dude, whose kidneys are failing so he needs to borrow yours for a day while he waits for a transplant. His fans have kidnapped you, he's in a coma, it's not his fault, will you agree to help filter his blood for a day at no great harm to yourself? Again today, I feel my blood rise and I think "I'm sorry, but I already know what I'm supposed to agree to think, and I'm just not playing", and I settle back to wait the hour out and hug him and leave. I simply don't care enough to fight. But then. He points to the air behind me, and TJ's voice pipes up from the backrow where he was supposed to be reading his book. TJ says, NO, and not only because nobody had a right to kidnap him, but to agree to such a thing would make the world a place where you might get kidnapped and then be guilted into going along with it, PLUS the dude will probably wake up and feel bad. The prof agrees in that way that says "yes yes you're right but you just don't understand", and he refers to TJ as a "she" who has a good point. I glance back, TJ looks very quiet very composed and like he could shoot to kill no problemo. The prof then goes on to make an analogy to a fetus as a result of a rape. Of course he does. But TJ didn't agree in the first place to the whole musical genius thing, so he's hardly primed to agree to play with the fetus. He raises his hand again (he's 10 - this is a lecture hall full of adults) and suggests it's a false analogy, becasue among other reasons, the fetus is just a kid and not some old musician who probably has lived plenty already. The prof says in his thunderous prof tone, "In some cultures, old people are valued MORE for their WISDOM than youth is for its potential" and everyone laughs. TJ waits for the tittering to stop, says simply, "But not in this culture." He's not being a smart ass, that's simply true, not in this culture. The talk goes on, I am tempted to get involved in the debate, but the emeritus professor is my mentor truly and loves me and his look says "Don't" so I don't. When it's over, TJ hands me a napkin from the pizza buffet on which he's written 4 questions, and he wishes me to give this note to the professor. It reads on one side:

1. If there is no sense of obligation, why would anyone help anyone else?
2. If there is no law but you feel like there is one and feel like you have to do something, what's the difference?
3. Is anyone worth any more? Like a musician?
4. I am C--, son of G--

on the other side it reads:

Please
1. Answer here:
2. Answer here:
3. Answer here:
4. You can apologize for calling me a girl here:

how does he LOSE THE PUCK? whoever ever heard of that? Ears was too mortified for the guy to enjoy it, seriously

VIRGO You require a great deal of freedom in your relationships. You'll put some distance between you and the person who tries to manipulate you and your emotions.

duncan sheik - shout (tears for fears)

The nature of the game is changing. Do you know which game I'm referring to? I mean the one that everyone's playing but no one's acknowledging they're playing. The rules of the game had held steady for quite some time, but recently they began to shift. Now even the game's rewards are in the process of metamorphosing. My advice? You don't necessarily need to splash a big dose of raw candor all over the place, but I do recommend that you at least tell yourself the truth about what's going on.

the killers - why don't you find out for yourself (morrissey)

This is a pic of my great-great-grandmother Etta Strong, with accompanying letter she wrote to her daughter Margaret (my great-grandmother, the woman I knew as Granny).

Etta was married to man who "spanked" one of her sons to death. Sometime shortly thereafter, she was diagnosed with TB, given 2 months to live, and told to go out west to prolong her lung function in the drier air. She started a ranch, and she lived 18 years longer. She never returned to her husband or saw him again.

holy shit, a miracle

hahahahahhahahahahaha

CAPRICORN (my rising sign) Every now and then, bleak thoughts cross your mind. It's because you are tired. But fear not. There will be plenty of opportunity to conquer the world after you've taken the time to dream and recharge.

A super sunny fall day out there - Soak up some of that vitamin D! Go for a ride and park your car in some sunny country cranny and take a nice cozy nap . . . .

this guy is better unplugged



WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST: ARIES: You are dancing and happy -- an irresistible combination. TAURUS: You don't want or need anyone to save you, and because of this, you'll attract equally self-sufficient people. GEMINI: You love to be around the person who lets you be you. CANCER: You're happiest when you are with someone who asks excellent questions and listens to what you have to say. LEO: You are beautiful when you smile, and you should do so often wherever you go. VIRGO: Someone wants to know your favorite things so that he or she can deliver them to your hands. LIBRA: Social grace is all about timing. Be ultra-aware of how those around you are pacing themselves. SCORPIO: Your emotional world is like a glass that must be emptied before it can be filled anew. Spill your feelings. SAGITTARIUS: Be aware of the deep effect you have on the lives of those around you. CAPRICORN: You're with someone who inspires you to choose the things that bring you the most enjoyment. AQUARIUS: You will make an admirable choice that is clearly for the highest good of all concerned. Someone loves you for this. PISCES: The value you give yourself is the value that others will give you.

Sometimes the assumption of privilege in the school out here gets on my nerves. They routinely tell kids to do such things as “bring their homework in on a thumb drive” and “stay for such-in-such afterschool, call your mom to pick you up.” If we were poor and/or I was working as many hours as most single mothers, I don’t think we could even live here. I like living here, but that kinda stuff just gets on my nerves. (aside: Ears forgot his highliters last week, and when scolded he shot back “What if my mom were too poor to buy me highliters?” for which he got in trouble because they took it as if he were lying by saying I was poor, so unthinkable is it that a kid could have a sociopolitical thought and/or that there is anything to have such a thought about.) The latest thing was that all the kids were supposed to bring in their digital cameras yesterday. Not on cell phones, o no that would be too easy, they were to bring “regular digital cameras” for a field trip to the zoo. The trip was an art trip, and the kids are going to be drawing and painting animals hereafter, so everyone should bring their cameras . . (why??) . . . because apparently pictures of animals are hard to come by otherwise?? Stupid. And again, how lame is it to assume all kids just have such things to toss around in their backpacks? Even out here in Lodi, surely someone must have lost their job by now. So anyway, I’m running around trying to even find the damn thing (everyone uses their phone now, duh) and then it’s out of charge grrrrr, and I’m cursing out the school with such thoughts as “I hope the entire middle school population takes pictures of each other’s asscracks whatever and drives that damn art teacher nuts.”

Action is low at the zoo for the animals now that it’s cold. That’s why, I’m guessing, that the monkeys got so excited to see all the kids running around. So excited, in fact, that one of them jerked off right in front of the display glass, screeching and jumping up and down and thrusting his monkey penis at them. While, indeed, the kids took pictures. The thing I like best about that story is that while the kids were amused, the male teachers were DELIGHTED. They could not stop laughing. Ed was laughing so hard telling me this story, I’m still laughing just remembering how hard he was laughing. The social studies teacher man exclaimed in glee, “There’s even a happy ending!” as the monkey splattered his load onto the glass, buckshot style, all the teacher dudes howlin' and applauding.

(for not posting an accompanying pic with this story: you're welcome)

ASTROLOGICAL INSIGHT: Why and How To Bring Virgo Energy into Your Life. Virgo, the sixth sign of the zodiac, is the sign associated with service and health. It's about habits that shape you. It's the sign associated with daily responsibilities, both paid and unpaid, and the work that is involved in just being you. Virgo energy is especially handy when you want to change a habit or make an improvement in your life. It's helpful during the entire process of making the change. Virgo energy guides the analysis, planning and execution of the new behavior. And most importantly, Virgo energy provides the impetus to repeat an action until it is an ingrained, natural and automatic response. Every person has Virgo energy represented somewhere in his or her astrological chart. Maybe it's a prominent energy, or maybe it's lying dormant. You can activate Virgo energy by deciding on the improvement you want to make and seeing yourself as a person who embodies this new behavior. Then repeat the new habit daily. Repetition is the key. As you put your new behavior into practice, the Virgo energy of self-discipline and a healthful, helpful mindset will begin to flow through your life and sustain you.

[take your vitamins; save your money]

wtf is up w/ the conservative white guy crying thing? glen beck does this too . . . c'mon dudes, being poor white trash + a mere penis does not = wa wa wa. just SHUT IT.



"how do you know you're there??" hahahahah

(setting: I'm painting a wall)

me: watch it! seriously, don't get paint all over hell
tj: you need stuff to worry about
me: o don't start, there's paint, duh, don't f'n step in it
tj: no I've thought about this
me: here we go
tj: you need to worry about stuff and care for stuff or you go crazy or something
me:
tj: in fact, since you care for me, I have never seen you crazy. I guess.
me: ha
ears: ha
ears: yeah it's true, you always want to be taking care of stuff. what are you gonna do when we grow up? go crazy all the time?
me: I was planning on killing myself. but . .
ears: jesus!
tj: mom!
me: well I know, I'm happier now so I need a new back up plan. but I keep putting it off. hoping you'll just grow up slowly.
ears: that's not working is it?
me: well. it's probably why I spoil the shit out of you; I'm unconsciously slightly crippling you in an attempt to prolong your childhood
tj:
ears:
ears: that's fucked up!
me: don't say fuck
ears: lol
tj: lol
me: lol
tj: I love your laugh mom, you snort when you laugh.

method man - release yo delf (prodigy remix) this is iffy at first but it really grows on ya
bonus track: prodigy - smack my bitch up

I cancelled Monday, every minute of 24 hours of it.

huh.



(canadian furry dudes, she likes em)

WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST: ARIES: You'll help a loved one get habits under control and will be helped yourself in the process. TAURUS: People want to work for you. Let your loved ones know how they can help you meet your goals. GEMINI: Your bright and sunny attitude is so attractive to everyone around. CANCER: You'll be given the star treatment because you carry yourself in a way that radiates self-esteem. LEO: You are not against anyone, but the things you are for might not be in line with what a loved one wants. VIRGO: Loved ones respect your time and will make sure to arrive promptly where you need them. LIBRA: Spending time with new people will bring out a very attractive side of you. SCORPIO: What you say will validate and empower another person. SAGITTARIUS: There is optimism in your walk, in your talk and in the sparkle of your eyes. CAPRICORN: Past relationships have shaped you. Whether it's for better or worse only you can decide. AQUARIUS: Your loved one is an ever-evolving mystery, and you are constantly cracking the code. PISCES: Someone admires the sweet way you talk, especially when you say this person's name.

beerjacket - dacning in the dark

VIRGO Someone is thinking of you! Of course, you'd prefer it if this person would stop thinking and actually do something to show the nature and degree of his or her affection. [exactomundo batman]

VIRGO Forgive yourself for the mistakes you've made, big and small. This is a day for starting over. Besides, you've also done quite a lot of things right.

(hrrmph)

bummer

"Pentheus was jealous so he did something to get even. On top of that his own mother kills him."

[English profs pass this stuff around like a joint at a party.]

lowell fulson - why don't we do it in the road?

VIRGO Why hide your talents? Bring them out in the open so people can see what you do. If nothing else, this is great practice. But likely, once people realize what you are good at, new opportunities will arise.

grading papers

“Another weakness that Hagar possesses is that she already has low self-of-steam.”

gypsy soul - superstition (stevie wonder cover) - [kinda my tempo, come to think of it]

someone loves you boris yeltsin - back in the saddle - for fph, just cz the chorus sounds like his tempo somehow

finally

VIRGO Your position is clear to all those around you. You see everyone as equals and radiate respect for all beings. It will definitely come back to you, and it won't take very long, either.

(update: eyeroll)

Don't wait to be hunted to hide, that's always been my motto.

--Beckett
Molloy

WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST: ARIES: You'll make loved ones proud by solving your own problems and theirs, too, in one fell swoop. TAURUS: Many will want to get close to you, but your heart belongs to only one. GEMINI: Love relationships will be a lot more work than you thought they would be, but you won't mind it. CANCER: Ask around, and you'll find out just who shares your quirky interests. LEO: You'll spend a lot of time working alone, so don't play alone, too. VIRGO: Stay flexible.[ha] Remember that if one way doesn't work for your relationship, there is always another way to go about it. LIBRA: You want to know that another person is having just as much fun as you are in a relationship. So ask! SCORPIO: You'll offer comfort and encouragement as needed. SAGITTARIUS: You don't mind that someone depends on you from time to time, but it's too much pressure if you think they absolutely can't live without you. CAPRICORN: You want the other person to take control, but it might not happen because you're so powerful yourself right now. AQUARIUS: Share about what pleases you, even if you think the other person should already know. PISCES: Don't settle for a relationship that doesn't match up to your standards.



ann peebles - come to mama

laying here, doing nothing at all but thinking

Yesterday sucked ass. Those Madame President days, ugh. I mean, I love my job, I'm grateful for how much I can still care for it, but oy vei faculty are a bunch of divas. Running those meetings drains the absolute life outa me, and the "upside" such that is it comes downs to "wow, I can actually do this shit and do it well and not lose my mind, go figure." I'm pleasantly surprised to find that I grew up somewhere along the way and survived it. And I do like wearing those little suits, I admit it. But now, I gotta disappear for a day back into myself. If I possibly can, I always schedule the Thursday off after a Madame day, so I can have a fistful of hours in quiet (music probably, or maybe not), usually cleaning or some other 'self sorting' type task, along with a dose of laying here, just purely thinking.

ambulance ltd - yoga means union

for my rising sign this week: What is the wild and instinctual nature? Radiance magazine posed that question to storyteller Clarissa Pinkola Estes. Here's her reply: "to establish territory, to find one's pack, to be in one's body with certainty and pride regardless of the body's gifts and limitations, to speak and act in one's behalf, to be aware, alert, to draw on the innate powers of intuition and sensing, to come into one's cycles, to find what one belongs to." I would love to see you specialize in these wild and instinctual arts in the coming weeks, Capricorn. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you are ready to tap into the deeper reserves of your animal intelligence. Your body is primed to make you very smart about what you need and how to get what you need.

kris delmhost - ain't no grave (my latest in-the-car howler)

t'was a gorgeious day. I took a ride out to see Bale's new barn project and to buy myself a humungo mum from the nursery nearby. on my way, a pheasant ran out right in front of my car. thank goodness nobody else was on the country road so I could slam on my breaks and then admire his cocky ass, strolling off into the grass slowly as if he was letting me check him out. they are WAY bigger than you think, with longer tails and brighter colors, like if Ru Paul was a turkey he'd be a pheasant.

Originally pheasants came from Greece, near the area of the Phasis River, from which we get the name pheasant. There they ran wild in the kingdom of Colchis.

Pheasant is most often linked to the energies of family fertility and sexuality. Most pheasants have splendid tail plumes. Tail plumes have long been associated with sexuality and the greater expression of it. The colors and kinds of feathers reflect much, and most pheasants have a variety of colors and feathers which should be examined. They all can reflect different aspects of the energies the pheasant symbolize for you. Pheasants are good teachers in how to set romantic moods through the warmth of colors.

If pheasant crosses your path, its medicine gives you the ability to attract love and creativity as the male pheasant does; he often has a harem of three mates at a time. Pheasants have strong libidos and are able to attract a healthy amount of attention from desirable partners.



I bought the red mum.

Mercury, the minister of communication, enters the mysterious realm of Scorpio today. As passions soar and interactions grow intense, words spill in the heat of the moment that may or may not be true, but they have power either way. Another thing to keep in mind during this transit: What is not said is usually far more telling than what is said.

quantic - snakes in the grass

bruno mars ft. damien marley - liquor store blues

yesterday started out serioualy bad. like if I were the type of person to make a phone call in a wa wa crisis, I'd have picked up the phone. then later, it was unexptectly good.

MEANING: Builder, Completion, Alternatives

To have a beaver cross your path means you are learning to look for alternative solutions and to see that you can create them yourself. Beaver's are builders and action-oriented animals, so they are encouraging you to work at the things in front of you. And there is always more than one way in and always more than one means of escape; in fact, Beaver teaches you that there are many alternatives by way of waterway channels. Beaver refuses to be cornered, caught off guard, trapped or blocked either.

WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST: bite me

the assheads are from Wisconsin, I know it's stupid as hell but, cmon

To see a jackhammer in your dream, suggests that you need to make some drastic changes in your life. Break away from your old outdated attitudes and habits.

I suppose I'll probably have to.

I had to give this big presentation on "writing across the curriculum" today to faculty at another college. I had no good reason to do it, it was mediocre money, but I dunno, I just said yes, that's all. I suppose I wanted to cheat on my college for a day, see how I come off to people who aren't used to looking at me. I stressed it for days and days. Then I wore the blue dress. I was mic'd up like Madonna (tee hee). Like many things I do, it was a ton of stressful preparation and then the thing itself was merely perfectly fine. They loved me. Of course they loved me. Self-deprecating jokes fly out of my ass like butterflies.

It was down in Olean, ie Chataqua, the northern Allegany area, a beautiful meandering drive in through fog and out past farmettes and hunting cabins. I love mountains. I love "Nowhere" places. I love Nowheres nestled in mountains best of anything, they're like the environ equivalent of a lover's armpit.

I was listening to: Leo Kottke & Mike Gordon, "Sweet Emotion" (Aerosmith)

What would your wildest fantasy be, Virgo? For sure it would involve words. Today you will become very aware of all the subtle nuances of feeling locked into a phrase, or even a whole sentence. You usually seduce your lovers with sweet whispers, but today you may feel the urge to take this one step further and really test the power of grammar.

Ha. I cannot f'n believe that just happens to be my horoscope for today.

listening to: VIRGO You'll express yourself more fully when you're with one who really understands you. If you don't feel like you know such a person, keep casually reaching out. This is a lucky time for finding friends.

College Writing Class Assignments with Real World Applications.
BY CAMERON DODD (McSweeny's)
- - - -

1. Write a text message to a girl apologizing for the series of drunken text messages you sent her at 2 a.m. last night, which were just poorly composed requests for her to come over.

2. Write a justification for taking time off from work and school to "figure out what it is you really want to do."

3. Write an obituary for a family member who was, by all accounts, an emotionally distant asshole and unaccomplished poet.

4. Write an e-mail to your professor explaining why you've missed his/her class so many times. (Note: You've already used the "death in the family" excuse.)

5. Write a thank-you note to your aunt for the wedding gift she meant to send to your younger but already more successful brother.

6. Write a letter to your parents notifying them that you have decided to drop out of law school and they won't be getting back any of the money for this semester, which only started two weeks ago.

7. Write a Post-It note to your landlord with some feasible yet not cliché explanation for being late on this month's rent.

8. Write and practice reciting a monologue in which you explain to a girl that you aren't a scumbag like your friend(s), who slept with her and then didn't call her. Incorporate the phrase "I don't even know why I still hang out with those guys."

9. Write another monologue in which you apologize to the same girl for not calling her after you slept with her two weeks ago.

10. Write a cover letter to a bank manager that claims your B.A. in literature gives you advantages that people who have degrees in business, finance, or economics simply don't have.

11. Write an e-mail to your dad with not-so-subtle hints about how you're overqualified for the only openings you can find and how the job market is just not what it used to be.

The literary episode. The boys love this show (shut up, it's the age of youtube, kids can watch someone's grandma get dismembered as easily as they can get gum, ya gotta deal with reality). . . so, but, I have to preview the episodes because even I have to acknowledge that Cartman drinking vagisil smoothies in order to get whitetrash stupid enough to become a Nascar driver is inappropriate. The Adventures of Scrotie McBoogerballs, linked above, is also out of bounds. The Britney Spears episode, however, is popular cultural critique. Milk-n-Cookies always gives us her weekly Star magazine, she leaves them in the Buddha's lap, but since we watched the Spears episode, we've decided that my reading those on the crapper is immoral and I'm back to The New York Review of Books. (I know, you're appalled, but I'm serious nonetheless.)

WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST: ARIES: You get closer to a workable relationship by deciding what is not workable. TAURUS: Go where you're the youngest, the oldest or the only girl or guy -- in other words, where you stand out. That's where you'll get the attention you deserve. GEMINI: A friend will introduce you to someone fascinating. CANCER: For a certain someone, your name is the first on the list of datable people. LEO: You prefer to spend some time alone, and that is perfectly acceptable to the one who loves you. VIRGO: A loved one craves your attention and needs to be acknowledged for special contributions. [Deal! Make a contribution to my funds of love, and I'll totally acknowledge you.] LIBRA: Loneliness is remedied by selfless giving. SCORPIO: Someone with a good deal of discretionary time and income will spend it on you. SAGITTARIUS: The graceful way you handle yourself favorably impacts the environment around you. Someone will be intrigued and want to know more. CAPRICORN: Give yourself what you deserve, and others will follow suit. AQUARIUS: Give a loved one points for all that is going right in a relationship. PISCES: Your opinions matter to a loved one -- maybe too much. Be sparing with them!

VIRGO, While you listen to music, relax, enjoy some light reading or just browse the pictures in a magazine, your intelligence will be increased with very little effort on your part.

So it begins again. Ears, in trouble at school. As per usual: He didn't have the worksheet, the worksheet, the worksheet. Does he not have the skill or knowledge necessary? O no, he can do it, he just doesn't. Well, if he can already, what is he LEARNING by completing the worksheet? (blank stares) And he sings. He sings? Yes, he sings in classes that aren't music class. Like, rude bar songs or . . ? No no, he just sings under his breath, it's distracting and shows he's not paying attention. (pause) Bru, were you singing today? Yeah (looking miserable), maybe. What were you singing? Probably smoke on the water. When you were supposed to be filling out a worksheet? No, I think it was in art class. Ok Bru, can you wait in the hallway for a second?

Insert here: me ripping his teachers a new butthole per.

Every teacher who can simply refrain from taking a piss on a child's natural curiosity is worth his/her weight in solid gold.

twins?

helenamaria - telephone (lady gaga) gets better as it goesgoes

repeat
repeat
this cheers me up

listening to: both our tender bellies wound around in baling wire la la (?)

mona zena - tonight

the only thing keeping me dry la lal a

shariff - the district sleeps alone tonight (postal service cover)

sam - peace

listening to: your back ain't strong enough

jeff - nothin (repost) - there's something slays me about him,

listening to: call your boys, they shot a buzzard off the chrystler

iron & wine - he lays in the reigns (live acoustic with italian opera? interlude)

listening to

jeff - johnny

I was tardy in planting my garden this year -- more than two months late. My batch of seedlings didn't find their way into my patch of dirt until July 2. I humbly apologized to them, then made amends with a campaign to provide them with extraordinary care -- organic fertilizer, regular watering, impeccable weeding, steady songs of encouragement. And by September the zucchini were booming, the pumpkins were thriving, the watermelons were unstoppable, and the cucumbers were riffing with abandon. Take inspiration from my example, Virgo. Your plans may have gotten delayed, but don't let that demoralize you. There's still time.

My friend Amy's mom needs a dog. Her father, a capricorn, works full time though he's 80. And her mother, in her 7o's and an attention-loving scorpio, is home all day alone. They tried the SPCA and wound up with a german shepherd (what were they thinking??), which Amy quickly inherited. So, I suggested a shih tzu, Patchey (Django's mom), who is retiring. So I went with Amy today to finalize that deal and wallowed in shih tzu puppies all morning, sticking my face into one furball of love after another. Loompa was scrumptious. For a second, existentially speaking, it came down to Loompa vs. that blue dress. Shih tzu or human? The dress won.

little boy jokes

TJ: Guess what?!
me: what?
TJ: CHICKEN BUTT!! [gigglegigglegiggle]


me: nice.

A classic.

(paper grading season, replete with youtube distractions - I am SO behind on SO much work, it's gotta be funny)

You have 0 friends.

meh, everyone has intimacy issues. playlist
bet.e&steph - I put a spell on you
feist - lovers spit (live acoustic)
emm gryner - pour some sugar on me
jeffrey foucault - buckets of rain

“Friendship Train,” Gladys Knight and the Pips

get on it whoa yeah get off the jackass train la la la yee ha woop woop shake shake it la la laaaaa

WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST: ARIES: You're looking for someone to love you unconditionally, and that's what you will find. TAURUS: Standoffish types challenge you to get to know them, and right now it's better to enjoy someone who is more open and easy to get to know. GEMINI: You'll enjoy connecting with someone who is artistic and has excellent taste. CANCER: Confess your needs. Once a loved one knows what you want, he or she will deliver it. LEO: You keep thinking of the one you don't want to think about. If you really want to stop, you'll have to find a better way to divert your attention. VIRGO: You'll be fulfilled by your relationships because you give and receive from the heart. LIBRA: The dance of love is your forte, and you never stop learning new moves. You're still finding out how close to get to a certain person and when. SCORPIO: Love and friendship go hand in hand this weekend. SAGITTARIUS: There is beauty in comfortable quietude and ugliness in awkward silence. CAPRICORN: Though you may prefer to play an intellectual game with your friend, some physical activity will be more fun. AQUARIUS: It's never too late to change your mind. PISCES: Let your loved one know how much you believe in him or her.

update ("Vulnerability is a strength. It's not a mistake." - DmS)

TJ over brownies for dessert (I added heath bar bits in the batter): “I’m glad you’re my mother because although you have a lot of shortcomings like swearing a LOT a man would like to think that no matter what else is going on or really stinks that his mother at least really loves him otherwise a part of him dies on the inside and starts to smell like a rotting corpse.”

Me: (pause) Thanks. And, you're welcome.

idea man

listening to: helenamaria - rude boy (rihanna)

XVII - The Star

With Aquarius as its ruling sign, The Star is a card that looks to the future. It does not predict any immediate or powerful change, but it does predict hope and healing. This card suggests clarity of vision, spiritual insight. And, most importantly, that unexpected help will be coming. The Star is one of those cards everyone loves. In every deck, it is usually the most beautiful. Whatever hope, healing, or future it offers, however, the reader must remember that it might not be immediate. This is a soft card, and like Aquarius, its vision is for tomorrow, not today.



WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST: ARIES: You make people feel good about themselves, and they keep coming back for more. TAURUS: You'll make the first approach and will be glad you did. GEMINI: Emphasize the ways in which you are different from the rest. CANCER: You have ideas about how things will develop that are not what a loved one currently has in mind. But when you share your views, you'll find common ground. LEO: You will be given your way, but don't take it if it is given reluctantly. VIRGO: You want something that couldn't be in the past. But things are different now, and it's time to try again. LIBRA: There is someone who makes you feel beautiful or handsome, and you love being around this person for that very reason. SCORPIO: Your commitment to a person extends to his or her family. Your life is richer with this many people on your side. SAGITTARIUS: Someone wants to celebrate you, and you should let this person do it. CAPRICORN: You may be nervous and unsure about how to interact, but this won't stop you from making a fantastic impression. AQUARIUS: Your great compassion makes you all the more attractive. PISCES: You'll be haunted by the memory of a past love.