jon muq - runaway

I finally got a pointless chicken. Made me a wee wistful, but it was time. To consummate the relationship with my new life partner. 

it lights up 🤷🏻‍♀️

#lakelifeparter

I still love my pond husband. I might see him still, sometime(s). 

glo in her glory

gamu - shake the room
 

Maybe Omaha. Or Phoenix. Maybe RIT. Maybe Canisius. I keep turning the options over and going for them all, all at once. I'm under no illusions regarding the place I've given my working life to.  I would relish stunned. That this time it's me leaving. 

If I built it, I can set it on fire. If I built it, I can build it again. Over and over, I turn those phrases over in my mind like benway balls. 

taking advice from fucking garbage cans lol 🙄, FANCY cans #saladeatingbitch

Soltice scopesheena easton - I'm almost over you: Does any person or institution own a part of you? Has anyone stolen some of your power? Does anyone insist that only they can give you what you need? If there are people who fit those descriptions, Virgo, the coming weeks will be an excellent time to fix the problems. According to my understanding of life’s rhythms, you can summon the ingenuity and strength to reclaim what rightfully belongs to you. You can recover any sovereignty and authority you may have surrendered or lost.

@cottage

What if I were the one throwing life into garbage bags? When the blood tests came back (diagnosis: I am an exhausted bag of mostly cortisol) and I got a horsesize vitamin B12 shot to my ass, wow my temper with some B-fuel has been and is EPIC.  😵‍💫🔥

American Dreaming - Sierra Ferrel

"life cycle of a woman, inset"

The Pink! 

I drove straight through overnight and rolled into Buffalo around 4:30 a.m. In silence. Looking for that version of myself who could make bank shots, drunk or sober. RIP

On fire. 

Heading home early. To blow some shit up. Downsize maybe to a little brick wolf-safe home-base. Or take LOA / sell it all off entirely. 

Something.

 🤔

Sitting at dawn in my sister's home. Thinking.  Thinking they won't die if I walk away. Nobody will die if I walk away. So, what is most likely to kill me? That is the only real question. More of my life as I've been living it definitely will kill me. I'm my own Andy, treating me(yself) like shit and ignoring it when I cry. 

T-bone

Wow it's hard to believe he's the dude who terrorized us over a crumb under the toaster all through my childhood. It looks like duck dynasty fucked a homeless person and had a love hoarder in here, holy hell. 

Both my parents are sharp as tacks. No, sharp as shivs. But neither was ever good at keeping their shit together much. Compounded by age and knee-jerk independence. I'll be mulling genetic compound aging knee-jerk tendencies in myself as I hunt for the maggots that surely must be here somewhere to explain all the flies. 

poor nameless boy - breadcrumbs

 even cleaned/Petco'd the dog

 I grew resigned to the idea that, for the time being, I had one central preoccupation: ongoingness. ~Between Two Kingdoms, Suleika Jaouad

That's what you call that mood. Ongoingness. A privilege, really. I mean, as I get older, Mark stays dead. 

And on that note, off I go to WI. 

mipso - carolina rolling by (earworm)

Maybe all we are is creation's translators, putting things like granite or oak or elephant or corn in a language they want to be put in, to give them bodies made of sound so they're measurable. "Measurable" sounds like "miserable" when I pronounce it. ~ Fire Exit, Morgan Talty

nothing really changes - slow leaves

 

I am in a mood, though all is well. Relatively. I am often in this mood. Then I do an inventory, trying to figure it out, a somewhat searching somewhat moral inventory: My job has been completely infused with the mounting catastrophe that is healthcare in this country + the growing crisis of purpose that is tanking higher education. So, that's not great, but objectively speaking it's okay for my career until the apocalypse; the kids are fine. Relatively; I'm in a stable relationship. Relatively; I have my health. Relatively. I'm curled up with a dog on my feet right now, reading a book. So. Why this mood? A kind of crabby waiting, as if at a red light that's taking for fucking ever.

Maybe it's bugging me that Ex is marrying M today. The dispatches from TJ from the backyard affair are priceless (M---a walks down the stairs this morning, holds her arms open like Christ awaiting the first nail, and says "I am so full of dread!" in a chipper tone.) I feel droll about it. Like, how many backyard weddings are we all going to have racked up at the rate we bang them out apx once a decade? 🤔🙄 

TJ tweeted some smack toward the leader of the free world as a joke = the sec ret se rvice up all our butts and today a trip out to Al's to meet with agents 🤦🏻‍♀️. It was annoying to me, terrifying to her, one of us should have apologized but we didn't think of it, both just dumbstruck by driving back into Lewiston. Homesickness for me, suffocation for her, deja vu for Al. Then we went to Andersons at TJ's request, a hot dog to comfort the vegetarian.

love and affection - joan armatrading

 sunrise@cottage