love + time - distance = bullshit

VIRGO Once you know that you're perfectly fine on your own, you can enjoy circumstances for what they truly are instead of using any pursuit or person as a means of escape.

smitten + distance / time = appetizing

 Fye, the future you = time / interactions + authenticity + human decency

VIRGO: Theoretical love won't do it for you. You want a love that's demonstrated, or what's the point? 

Meaning    I would prefer not to need to consult this chart

VIRGO  You'll respectfully go forward with a pretty ambitious aim. When someone pushes back, consider that this may be a test, a tease or the reaction of threatened competition. Analyze carefully before you proceed.

Push back smush back.

VIRGO Once you put your mind to it, you'll be brimming with ideas for creating fun times with your loved ones. This is a worthy mental exercise if ever there was one, especially if you follow through on a few and bring a camera. 

(snort)

VIRGO  In a good relationship, there is no such thing as a winner and a loser. If one person is losing, you both are. You have to be on the same team or it's not going to work.

I have a relationship with my self rubbing one out in the morning sunshine over coffee.

'what do ya wanna do today honey?' go to home depot. 'sure, anything for you!' 👍

I love to see you Virgos flirt with the uncharted and the uncanny and the indescribable. I get thrills and chills whenever I watch your fine mind trying to make sense of the fabulous and the foreign and the unfathomable. What other sign can cozy up to exotic wonders and explore forbidden zones with as much no-nonsense pragmatism as you? If anyone can capture greased lightning in a bottle or get a hold of magic beans that actually work, you can.

Fyi

pic removed

queen of cups

khalid - location

VIRGO Old baggage will get left on the roadside of the highway of love. Good riddance. The process is the goal, really. And yet, without a stated goal, there is no process. This will all be a moot point as you follow your natural instincts..

My instinct at the moment is to get a pedicure. But I am stuck at work playing horoscope hooky mid borING meeting. I think that instinct is Fuck It held barely at bay right now.

VIRGO Honesty includes what you know and what you don't know. Gaining and maintaining awareness of both parts of the equation will be your key to wisdom today.

Hmmmm.. ...(headtilt)

Today is a holiday. The kind you dress kids up in uncomfy shoes and make them play boring board games with cousins and let the crybaby retard kid win kinda holiday. But not for me. Since my love life looks like a manchild dropped a moab on it, UPSIDE to everything: no in-laws; and the mean retards are never on my side of the family.

So, a holiday is do whatever the hell I want with funny people day. I eat whatever I cook (and I am a good cook so no party wienies and carrot sticks), drink good wine and even better brandy, everybody wears fuzzy pant pjs all day, then we all either watch fabulously lude TV (VEEP premiere tonight yaaay) and/or play Cards Against Humanity.  My little clan is so foul mouthed witty that we had to graduate to homemade decks.

Then later, alone, I'll shop just a wee bit more, making my final sexy undergarment selection for the week ahead (I can always send it back if I don't use it, but methinks I shall).

In the spirit of good humor about it all, fye Melissa McArthy re the holocaust. As funny as that is (the Veggie Tales puppets omg that's awesome), the original is terrible-funnier like woooow - I shouldn't laugh but I sure did. And for the chocolate cake bit, in case you missed it.

Being an American now means you need a sense of humor like mine. I am no longer inappropriate at all actually. Which should appall normal people.

VIRGO: Anyone complaining of circumstances will lose you. Strong character impresses you, though.

Omgtotallytotally. At work especially but in general too, my breaking point. If I hear one more time as an explanation (excuse) as to why someone is coming up woefully short of the moment something lameass like "this or that is hard for me", I will shoot a butterfly in the face and not in a good way.

If you were a snake, it would be a fine time to molt your skin. If you were a river, it would be a perfect moment to overflow your banks in a spring flood. If you were an office worker, it would be an excellent phase to trade in your claustrophobic cubicle for a spacious new niche. In other words, Virgo, you're primed to outgrow at least one of your containers. The boundaries you knew you would have to transgress some day are finally ready to be transgressed. Even now, your attention span is expanding and your imagination is stretching.

Last night my boss accused me of setting someone on fire, 'you're distracting' he fumed as I fuck-it giggled my head off. The particular of this situation aside, in principle FUCK-IT is in order, was my (armscrossy) response. We all wake up bent and obsessed about work even though we get almost nothing important accomplished and nobody is having an affair with anyone. That is just PATHETIC. We are all chasing little ends with unimaginative means. So if I am throwing inappropriate joke shoes whatever into the machines, at least I am setting little fires with what little energy I have for it, trying to wriggle resist against the restraints of the day.

What are you doing, besides more of the same shit you've always done? Do you even have any new sentences to throw at it? I bet not. I bet every single thing you think and say and do today is just recycled, from what you eat to the humorous anecdote you share to the position you fuck in, all of it.  And the better you know me, the more likely it is that I gave you whatever that was in the first place so it wasn't original even once. (Hand on hips, boots on.)

VIRGO Accepting what you can't change is one way to go about it, though you might accidentally find that through acceptance a transformation happens anyway.

Like accepting the suck of this day ahead of time as I go off to have it regardless or ..? That could refer to many sucky things, the options are nearly endless.

When you have no choice, is that acceptance? Do ya get wisdom points or some shit for that still, or ?

I love this character

I can't believe it is only Wed. A relentless clusterfuck of the missing finger chunk the norovirus cramps the endless work bullllllsssshit meetings upon meetings ending in the scheduling of a meeting like some circle of hell insomnia. I was home from a long day by 10 30 this morning pouring myself a glass of wine before settling in for my next slog of hours behind a screen working from here.

It is lunchtime. And I have given up on this day.

I am sitting here merely watching my inbox fill with reply chains, ding ding ding new mail every 10 seconds, around umpteen problems, thinking just fuuuuck it.

I am going to binge watch VEEP.

"Somewhere in the world there's a woman exactly my age getting her pussy eaten and I'm stuck here" - fave line from the episode 'Thanksgiving' and which is the annoyed subtitle of my interior life pretty much 24/7

I could use somebody la la

# from the DIY soundtrack

Lalala 

The kumbaya thingy factor

I always did like a good cover

I tried to find Valerie cz Sun had it, but it was a bootleg so this

She is awesome, don't care what anyone says
I would pay ufc and hockey prices combined to see her shit.
And it occurs to me all day today, I have to do everything :/

VIRGO It's typical for you to nurture others in need as if you were feeding yourself. These days, you actually care for them better than that. Take a breath and ask who really needs it more. Relationships that are already balanced will thrive in honesty.

Ha! A Gemini. 

Ya.

Ummm ok. I mean...ya had me at the little boy in the wa-mbulance, go mercy corps. So I get the impulse (first time I have understood any thought of Trump's, which is scary in itself). Buuut uhhh first of all, can he just go to war with Syria? Like while I was busy nursing this dumb finger, boom we went to war? And uhhhh, how can you go to war defending the same people that you won't take in as refugees i.e. that you do not give a shit about at all?

Is Trump a Gemini??

Every morning, the news gets more stupefying. Like a bunch of self-interested self-destructive nutcases, we are gonna kill our species in favor of our own kids wllynilly as if that isn't suicide. #hellinahandbasket

Virgo. You are super-capable. You have more energy than others, and you don't mind doing extra work. This is why you become the superstar of your group today, a well-earned scenario. 

Of course, you are not alone.

(Armscrossy.)

"Love plus time minus distance equals hate...You don't get mad at the soap stain."  That soap stain bit, I laughed so hard I nearly pissed myself.

(I would be willing to shoot a butterfly in the face for Louis.)

https://youtu.be/aaTekHklPoM 5:45-8:10 ish. Funny.

wantdog is not catfish