Saturday, May 30, 2009

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Wednesday, May 27, 2009


It's "International Disturbed Person Day" - you're supposed to send a disturbed friend an email, like "I don't care if you pee your pants sometimes on the special bus, I think you're great" typa deal.

I've gotten one email so far, and am not sure if that means I'm unloved or seem less disturbed than I imagine. Boringly, it's probably both.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Sunday, May 24, 2009

hung out w milk-n-cookies and officer tonight - ya just never know about people. turns out she's teacher to the village witch's kid . . . I appreciate what is (authentically) prefaced by "never told this to anybody but you're ok so", don't you? I got to see pics of the ghost (whoa), 2 of em almost exactly alike, taken by MnC herself at different times, and heard all about the sighting at the top of the stairs of a woman, a story which matched the 'homeless spirit guide' dream of mine in almost every detail. made the hair on my arms stand up.

fyi the spirit of wayne gretzky might be spending a chunk of eternity in the basement next door on one of those barka whatever loungers they've got tricked out for him ;)

Jurassic 5 - If You Only Knew

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

for virgo: Up to one-tenth of the population is left-handed. Yet for centuries, even as late as the 1950s, there were social stigmas against left-handers -- similar in some ways to the perverse prejudice that has been directed toward homosexuals. So strong was the taboo that many parents tried to convert their naturally left-handed children into righties. Thankfully, this absurd form of repression is now defunct. (Five of the last seven American presidents have been left-handed.) But it's a good reminder that there are countless other ways in which our culture still attempts to coax us or force us into not being who we really are. But here's the good news: It's an excellent time for you Virgos to reject the pressure to be someone else and get back to where you once belonged. Reunite with the person you were destined to be!

Monday, May 18, 2009

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Friday, May 15, 2009


There's something I heard 'bout white white folks that bothers me, and it has to do with fishin . . . I heard that when white folks go fishin they do somethin called 'catch and release' . . . That really bothers me, I just can't figure it out. 'Cause when colored folks go fishin, we really proud of what we catch, and we take it and show it off to everybody that'll look. Then we eat what we catch - in other words, we use it sustain us. So it really bothers me that white folks would go to tall the trouble to catch a fish, then when they done caught it, just throw it back in the water . . . Bein a friend is a heavy commitment. In a way, even more than a husband or a wife. And I was selfish. I could take care a' myself, and I didn't need nobody else's baggage. Besides that, friendship to me means more than just somebody to talk to, or run with, or hang with. Being friends is like being soldiers in an army . . . But then I got to thinkin about it some more and thought maybe we might have somethin to offer each other. I could be his friend in a different way than he could be my friend. But that's an even swap still, straight down the line.

from A Same Kind of Different as Me, Ron Hall & Denver Moore, a love story of a lost do-gooding rich guy and a found homeless musician, given to me by Rick, TJ's piano teacher, who said he knew these people once upon a time and upon reflection on the narrative, I'm pretty certain he means from the homeless side of the tracks. That explains the slightly jumpy, post-AA cigarette smoking way he has, as well as the backlessness of his stare and his interest in my religious studies (i.e. he's clearly born again some kinda way). I can't tell yet what more it might mean

"Don't Take Your Love from Me," Ike Quebec, tenor sax; Grant Green, guitar; Paul Chambers, bass; Philly Joe Jones, drums

Thursday, May 14, 2009


for virgo: The scenario I'm about to describe is likely to happen only in your dreams or fantasies, not your actual waking life. But it will later have a correlation in your waking life, and perhaps will be instrumental in preparing you mentally and emotionally for the triumph you'll be able to accomplish in your waking life. So here it is, the mythic tale that I foresee unfolding in the subtle realms: A python will slither up and begin to coil around you. With an apparently irrational instinct that turns out to be quite smart, you will hiss loudly and then bite the snake, causing it to slip away and leave you alone.

dreamed Yogi Bhajan showed up to tell me that if I were more disciplined w the kundalini rules/sets/etc. that I wouldn't have to have dreams and so to get the hell outa my own dream and get to work - I was like, Dude, can't you see I'm feeling sorry for myself over this thumb thing?!

no song - wa wa wa

:/

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

ripped ligament of rt thumb early this morning - cry - puppy is chewn on splint while i type w lefty - no song - wa wa

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Sunday, May 10, 2009


update: django fedt
[he only answers to JANGO! and looks at me as if I've sneezed if I try CHARLIE!, which even TJ admits even though he thinks Django is a bit pretentious (and coming from the 3rd grader who knows the word "pretentious", that's really saying something, but still) so a cross between a jazz gypsy and a star wars bounty hunter it is, making it misspelled both ways, which is surely fitting for a dog of mine]
bonus update: "Minor Swing," Django Reinhardt


bonus-johny paycheck - I'm the Only Hell Mama Ever Raised

single motherhood


white tantric debrief v.1 (best articulated by my friend Pinky, when we'd survived one portion and were being tutored into the next, in which we'd hold a mutual pose into extruciating pain for longer than would seem mentally or physically possible): "This is wicked nuts!" I'll have more to say about it, and it's not like I wouldn't do it again, but it ain't for the faint of heart that's for fucking sure.

as promised: martha wainwright - bloody mother fucking asshole [repost]

Then, the eagles. We were swooping through the air and I was being carried, and then we were caught up in the middle of a sky herd. The shadows cast were so huge, it was hard to even make out what the herd was at first, and then a black bear went past just above us, being held in the talons of an eagle the size of a sesna. The herd was endless, not dozens, more like a couple hundred. What was carrying me was doing the flying and I can only imagine that was Pinky, but I don't know for sure - we were of one mind, one animal, some kind of both predator and prey, until he started gliding lower into the eagles on the bottom of the herd, and I thought "Don't go near the ones that don't have anything in their talons yet!" which the lower flying ones did not, but down we went until one grabbed him hard and I squirmed and he dropped me and I woke up when I hit the ground.

A bear in a dream is a very rich and complicated dream symbol. In order to understand it, objective association need to be made. Bears are solitary animals and the females are solitary mothers. They hibernate in a cave and they are generally not predatory animals. A bear is only aggressive when provoked, and as such times she is dangerous and deadly. Bears in dreams may represent a period of introspection and depression. However, this may be a part of a healing cycle, where the dreamer has retreated into herself in order to regenerate and in order to create something new and valuable in her life. It may signal of period of introspection and thinking. The dream may also be a pun on "bare". Perhaps you need to bare your soul and let everything out into the open.

Saturday, May 09, 2009


one thing this blog makes clear, in the glance back, is that what looks like a fabulous idea in February looks like a different kind of idea in May - I'm not sure what kind of idea 10 hours of hardcore yoga and chanting looks like right now bc I can't think around the HOLY SHIT - supposedly, though, by the end of the day I'll have lost my ego and along with it my need to love any of you (bc I will be loving Humanity along with God) soooo just in case um I LOVE YOU


<:(


Friday, May 08, 2009


WEEKEND LOVE FORECAST: ARIES: You want to know what a loved one is thinking. Instead of asking, just guess and you'll probably be right. TAURUS: Your path to love is a surprising one. It's better not to have any expectations. Just let yourself go for this fun ride. GEMINI: You'll be inspired to change your appearance in order to keep things fresh in your love life. Good Luck! CANCER: Someone finds your curiosity flattering! That said, be careful not to be too nosy. LEO: The one who laughs at your jokes has a little crush on you. VIRGO: You're creating the story of your love life with every decision you make. Be mindful! [ i.e. make out with a puppy after dying for your sins while wearing a hair-repressing cloth on your head - ?] LIBRA: Your whimsical gesture reminds loved ones how unique your kind of affection really is. [This might involve becoming an aunt to a puppy.] SCORPIO: You'll be inclined to share a juicy bit of personal information that you normally would keep mum. SAGITTARIUS: You'll meet new friends in a professional context. Singles find love this way. CAPRICORN: Your friends loosen you up. So go on and get in that f'n V with your duck buddies! AQUARIUS: Loved ones think you're so attractive while completing a domestic chore. Suggestion for a chore might be watching Wife Swap. PISCES: Tell people how to treat you, or show them by the way you treat yourself. [Unless you're a puppy, bc licking your butt doesn't count and you can't talk, so you better rely on the kindness of strangers little buddy.]


Sia: I Go To Sleep high rec - this is the kind of thing FPH would send that made me go stupid in the knees back in the day (she says indulgently of her inner toddler)

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Shawn Mullins: Wake Me Up Before You Go Go (Wham) [what could be better than wham plus banjo?]

bonus: "I didn't realize how sensitive you are . . . " [this should not crack me up (!) - w/ my luck, I'll remember it and have to suppress a giggle when I'm eye to eye w some swami dude this weekend]

Wednesday, May 06, 2009


mercury goes retrograde again today, by the way, and will stay that way til the end of the month




so mixin up the messages in the horoscope dept, here's for Capricorn [my rising sign] this week: Did you hear about the older Korean woman who has failed her driving test 800 times? Or the American man who has filled out job applications at 25 Pizza Huts in 20 cities without being hired? Or the British artist who has completed over 5,000 paintings even though no gallery has ever shown his work? There is something about you that resembles those persistently frustrated people -- or at least has resembled them up until now. Soon, I predict, the dogged efforts you've made will finally pay off in at least a modest success, and perhaps even more if you'll make an effort to free your mind of its backlog of sad images.




there are 3 primary keys to the self astrologically speaking : the sign you were born under, that's like your base coat [virgo, in my case, La Frigid], your rising sign [your persona, ie your second coat], and your moon sign which rules your emotional life [in my case Pisces, and aside from getting motion sickness riding the emotions of others, I dunno much about Pisces except that it is supposedly the best sign for me to couple with, Capricorn being the runner up - in which case, given my 3-fer, I should be able to fuck(over) myself all the live long day, la la la] . . .



ASTROLOGY 101: WHAT IS PISCES LIKE? The symbol for Pisces is two fish swimming in opposite directions and this sign is as complex as that symbol implies. Life is never one way. There are many layers to reality and many dimensions operating simultaneously. Pisces is able to understand the breadth of experience and still, miraculously, operate simply. Pisces spiritual nature limits the amount of time Pisces spends caught up in the world of the intellect. Sure, Pisces is an intelligent sign. But most Pisces do not consider reason to be the best way to sort through life. Pisces is comfortable following intuition even when it defies logic to do so. Wisdom and faith go hand in hand for this sign. Pisces people do not always know exactly what they think about God or the afterlife and these beliefs may change several times throughout a Pisces lifetime. However, usually Pisces honors some kind of faith and it is a strong current that runs through everything Pisces does. Pisces is a compassionate sign, deeply empathetic to what others are going through. Sometimes Pisces is a sponge, picking up on the good and bad vibrations all around. Because of their sensitivity, Pisces need to be extra vigilant to expose themselves to as much happiness and goodness as possible.





Monday, May 04, 2009

monday


bonus: Fits one head. (hotel shower cap)

Sunday, May 03, 2009

"Okay," Kaiser Cartel "Take Me As I Am," Au Revoir Simone "Three Shades," Nomo - this is awesome [please, no seriously, regarding the words thing: shut up]

Friday, May 01, 2009


Only those who appreciate you are worth your time.