linda draper - time will tell

Siri Egg says we have to wrap our hair, bound tight in innocent white - because if you think about it, energy, which is most powerful contained logically speaking [it is? o.], travels up the spine and OUT, say says, making hand motions of "outward bound" and looking at me as a for instance (pause . . . . ) (pause . . . . )

but but, but it's SPRING . .

"Hands of Time," Groove Armada.

monday

the birds and the beasts

from G, Jolie Holland w/ The Be Good Tanyas - The Littlest Birds sing the prettiest songs la la la

bonus repost - Jolie Holland - like a Stubborn Beast I might resist you when you try to save my life la la laaaaaaaaaaaa love these songs, high recs

[spring!]

Sigur Ros - Gobbledigook
Uploaded by le-pere-de-colombe

bonus track - All We’ve Ever Done

for VIRGO [update]: Call in sick to work today and plant trees instead. If that fails because you can't dig the holes deep enough, call a landscaper and, just in case he turns out to be a Hippie Prince, look your best. Your powers of attraction and ability to get things done are both strong lately. Keep it going today! You'll make an investment in the natural environment and in yourself as well.

bonus: moby - love song for my mom

greeks. can't live with em, even Simon can't resist em: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gHvATmUsSg we've watched this repeatedly all morning, the boys loving it hahahahahah suuuure everyone wants to be greek until it hits home that 25 years from now, that kid is still gonna be doing that act w his dad on command

So I get a new textbook (aside: I’m always behind on my homework – always – I’m that kind of student, still thinking it over for a long time before I’m willing to commit an answer to anything more substantial than “How’s the weather?”) And I get into the tub, a pulled muscle in my ass on the right to show for my attempt to keep my arms in the air long enough to fathom even the most basic of sets at the tantric workshop that is gonna kick my unholy ass all over. And the book falls open at the heading “Woman”:

Do one favor for yourself. Never be ungrateful to any woman.
Love and respect a woman voluntarily
You are born of a woman. If you do not learn to respect women, the Supreme Consciousness will not talk to you. You will end up with broken homes and broken hearts. [X attacked me, btw, Sunday, for the last time bc finally I’m gonna sue his ass]
When a man tries to walk on the path of God, three things will come to him in abundance: women money and land. Why have I said women? The test of a male in his steadiness of consciousness is when he can prove his roots are deep, and he who is born of a woman is always tested by a woman.
A woman who is capable of giving birth must give birth to a saint, a hero, or a giver. [not necessarily in that order, but check check check, making me The Shit, fyi]
If you do not understand a woman, if no woman will allow you to understand her, you cannot reach God, because you do not know how to get away from maya, illusion.
As a man you are born of a woman. When you grow, you want a woman. You want to be rich for a woman, you want to be poor for a woman, you want to move to the country for a woman, you want to come to a city for a woman.
People who have the idea that a woman is a weak and frail creature do not know what a woman is.
The man who does not know the art of relaxing the female partner in any sexual cohabitation will never maintain the grounds of life.

[don’t shoot the messenger], from “The Teachings of Yogi Bhajan”

the boy least likely to - saddle up

improving the workday:
Carolina Chocolate Drops: Hit ‘em Up Style (Blu Cantrell)
yee-ha

Lex Land - Easy
Lex Land - What I Want From You

new: true

old favorite: galileo

the center for the arts at ub in the seats an alumni pre-sale gets you is awesome, and if your world isn't crashing at the same time as feist is yodeling, you can really enjoy the venue

cactus update

After a burst of romantic intensity, you're experiencing somewhat of a hangover. You never thought you'd say it, but romance even seems boring. Is it you? Is it him or her? That remains to be seen. Some soul-searching will reveal your next move.





Nouvelle Vague - Dance with Me

not the one I was set up with, not a great color (kind of non-descript actually since it's too dark to be brown but not black enough to be black), fuzzy rather than glossy, a bit smaller than most males . . . I'm still a little torn, the match-made one being so much better looking in the classic coverdog kinda way, but this one is healthy and he kissed me so I guess he gets to keep me:

more than met the eye

django reinhardt - you rascal you

for VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): It may be nearly impossible to understand where a loved one is coming from and why he or she is behaving a certain way. But don't give up on love. Answers will come. Be patient. In the meantime, take care of you. [amen]

Katy Perry - Electric Feel (MGMT Cover) [adjusted girly down]

Junior Wells - Chitlin Con Carne (http://www.moteldemoka.com/squashed/ChitlinConCarne.mp3)

horoscope: the day feels far less wretched if you slept through the night before [amen]

for virgo:I give thanks for the dented rusty brown and grey 1967 Chevy pick-up truck that my neighbor parks askew on the shoulder of the road a few blocks from my house. Its messy appeal helps snap me back to sanity when my own perfectionism threatens to de-soul me, or when all the shiny, sleek, polished things of the world are on the verge of hypnotizing me into believing that they alone should be considered attractive. Are there equivalent icons in your life, Virgo? Funky, unwieldy, anomalous things that are sublime in their own way? I suspect you'll benefit from their influence more than usual in the coming days.

Seu Jorge: Rebel Rebel (David Bowie)

Jeffrey Foucault: Nothin’

chinese water torture, my mama would say

With Venus in Pisces, people are called to experience the spiritual connection of love and consider the eternal aspect of this union. Some report a feeling upon first meeting someone that they have known the person before. There's an instant comfort level and a feeling of intimacy that often goes deeper than personal circumstances would normally dictate. I have interviewed many psychics, mystics and truth seekers about the concept of past lives. There is a commonly held idea that souls move through time (or the illusionary agreement we call time) in groups. We change roles like players in a traveling theater company. In one show an actor might play the father; in the next he plays a brother, friend, sister, lover ... and the other players switch roles as well. In each different configuration we try to work out our karma . . .

[seethe . . . ]

Mike and Ruthy: Hang Me

Mark Lanegan: Nothin’ In This World Can Stop Me Worryin’ (The Kinks)

"That's That," Cass McCombs

monday

13.2 million Americans are unemployed

Wanted:job description

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meanwhile, self-help:

The Pisces puppy is a lover. Friendly and loyal, it will look for ways to please you and to get your attention. A dreamy look is often in the Pisces dog's eye and it may like to sleep a lot and appear to even talk in a dream state. An intuitive animal, it will know that you are going away even before you tell your spouse. Warmth and affection are the bread and butter of this pet and you can create a real special bond with the Pisces dog if you are willing to let it enter your magic world. It will listen to you for hours and act like it knows what you are saying. . . It does. This dog could work as a wonderful familiar for those who like to work in the magic arts.

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meanwhile, lent ended today - to review: I gave up giving a shit . . .

in the park on the last day with him, it was sunny and the pup started throwing up - I held him with his little ribcage across my palm as he yacked then he curled and shat out the other end too, complete distress the size of my hand outspread. that's when I panicked . . . . so I did what I do: pray, cry, bla bla, then I had to let him go to someone who will know what to do to make him happy/well (who doesn't have kids prolly) (or a big brother dog - truth be told, Jasper acted like a dick). the breeders concur, and are being fantastic about it, and I'm gratefully free to choose another on which to spend my swollen love. a world of options, dogwise. I feel too achey, though, about it still - they all look lovable enough, I spose (and Otis looks like Hugh Jackman), and/but they're all not-mine. so I'll just see who kisses me, and then put my faith in the truth contained within a nzl

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update: talked to the breeder this morning, asked for a matchmaking, and they suggest this little dude - I like his freckles . . . but no deal will be sealed until I get a kiss (or not) when I go meet him sometime this week

The Ink Spots - Maybe

hayden carried away

dar williams - farewell to the old me

the pup's breeders took him back so he could get back into the heated dogbed with his dogmama, and he immediately started to be okay again (theory: a 'stress reaction', ie he suffered a near fatal bout of civil disobedience), but my vet says he can't be certified as healthy again until a week after the antibiotics I started are done on the 14th, but the breeder says he's so cute whatever that he can be placed with someone else now if I'd rather take a different puppy later, but that waiting until the 14th is no good because he'll need other shots by then before which he must be legally registered as belonging to his new private owner even though my vet says the pup can get no shots until he's certified as healthy - both the vet and the breeder agree that life's a crapshoot, the pup is likely perfectly okay OR destined to suffer and cause me great expense, thus whatever I want to do is fine

and I dunno what Jesus would do, nor if that would apply to me ever anyway, sooooo I dunno

[and I'm contemplating the possibility that Jasper is a witch]



update: I'm taking votes as to what to do (no, seriously) - so far I've got one vote for "tell the little asshole to get used to his new home and stop trying to commit suicide over it", and another vote for "why did you get a puppy in the first place?"

Tom Brosseau - Favourite Colour Blue

monday

the last week was 1000 days long and full of threats of death besides (even more than usual). I am spent, sick and my brainwalls have somewhat crumbled - my tenure review is due tomorrow, hours of work on it left to do, but all I can manage is to lie here and listen to the bottoms of my feet hurt, making a list of people I'm sure I love based on how much pain they've caused me or that I'd allow them to cause me, the more love the more encompassing the pain like a math equation even a retard could compute. I wonder: is there something fundamentally wrong with this math? is it true that 1 = -1 or is that debatable? maybe some people would imagine a list on which the people they loved were counted by how much pleasure they provide (?), like 1 = 1 typa deal instead. maybe I should be lying here noting the difference btw pain and love, not its absolute similarity as a sensation (?). huh. in that case, though, it'd be a really short list, as the people I love are logged on the "I'd bail you outa jail with my last dollar" list, about as pleasurable to me much of the time as an absessing tooth (no offense)

Because affliction and truth need the same kind of attention before they can be heard, the spirit of justice and the spirit of truth are one. The spirit of justice and truth is nothing else but a certain kind of attention, which is pure love.--Simone Weil

Resisting pain only increases its intensity. The three types of pain quickly follow one another in life, they pervade life. First you feel fundamental pain [the general pain of dissatisfaction, separation, loneliness], and then the pain of alternation, from pain to its absence and back again; and then the pain of pain, the pain of all those life situations you do not want.--Chogyam Trunpa, "The Myth of Freedom and the Way of Meditation"

Rosie Thomas: The One I Love (R.E.M.)

bonus: R.E.M.: Wall of Death (Richard Thompson)

I've come to say exactly what I mean

listening to: "Hymn 101," Joe Pug

Sharif - The District Sleeps Alone Tonight (The Postal Service) the one worth leaving la la laa

what I'm listening to: Ben Gibbard: They Don’t Know
Bell X1: I Fought The Law (Sonny Curtis and the Crickets)
Luke Temple - Make Right With You repost
Girls - Hellhole Ratrace

my aura is violet

Nina Gordon, Straight Out Of Compton (NWA [gangsta rap, fyi])

The puppy is dying. Work is hitting the fan like shit w me stuck here in the middle, "acting" faculty president and academic vp at the same time - I'm well suited to play the parts of one + one's enemy, I suppose. I'd go on, but what the fuck ever . . .

What I'm listening to: "Obsessed," Amanda Zelinas

fade like starlight to a glimmer

for virgo: There will be other times when I'll encourage you to upgrade your relationships with your inner child, your inner mountain-climber, and your inner serpent. Right now I hope you will take some quality time to commune with your inner elder. In my astrological opinion, you especially need the influence of this sage old part of you. He or she doesn't care overly much about social status, romantic drama, or the obsession of the moment, but is more interested in what provides deep meaning, generates love, and offers the big-picture perspective. So try this, Virgo: Leap ahead many years in your imagination and tune in to the guidance of the ripe and vibrant wise guy or wise woman you will ultimately become.

what I'm listening to: "Call the Shots," Malcolm Middleton (1:30-:151), repost