"I have dreamed in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas," wrote Emily Bronte in Wuthering Heights. "They have gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the color of my mind." One of your main assignments in the coming week, Virgo, is to identify a dream that can work that kind of magic on you. If there is no such dream currently seeded in your imagination, find a new one to plant there.

"Share Your Love With Me," Aretha Franklin

working moving painting working painting working moving moving paying working working paying, I feel like The Human Participle

"The more I did the more I carried. Books, houses, lovers, lives all piled up on my back, which has always been the strongest part of my body. I go to the gym. I can lift my own weight. I can lift my own weight. I can lift my own weight. I can lift my own weight.

I want to tell the story again."

-- Jeanette Winterson
Weight, A rewriting of the myth of Atlas and Heracles

Gary Mcfarland - Bloop Bleep

the plumbers finally got the water on and there are leaks all through the house from frozen pipes so now they're punching holes in the plaster everywhere and god only knows how much more this is going to cost . . . aaaaaand the president of the faculty counsel just abruptly went out on sick leave (lung cancer), thus making me the defacto and unpaid president until further notice (which is obviously worse for him than for me) (but still, a pain in my ass) . . . aaaaaand it's barely noon, the semester off with a bang (to my face at short range)

for virgo today: A string of unsettling influences may have you getting in a flap very easily today. Emotional matters may get blown out of proportion, and you may be susceptible to making mountains out of molehills. Trying to stick to objective facts may be harder than it sounds!

Weekend Wrap-up: The dismount was iffy at best; But still, we did get through it all - plumbing gets finished by tomorrow if nothing bad happens, and the wall in garage was successfully deconstructed to make room for the plumbers (and, eventually, my car) so that's about half done, and moving is down to small furniture and boxes, etc. Among other things, I feel very grateful.

sometimes 2 of 3 ain't gonna fly

from DmS - seems appropriate for moving day, on which I'm awake before sunrise, watching dogs and cats run on treadmills for kicks - the above is the funniest one although Piggy the Pug has its moments too, like when the dad is yelling 3 turn it down to 3!:

for virgo today: The shift in planets means a positive change in the way your love life is going, whether you’re single or attached. You’re likely to feel in the mood for quite traditional dates . . . For you, cozy candlelit dinners and some slow dancing set the tone nicely!

lol. ummmm. Well today is going to have men in it and it's going to be muggy, so I'll be surrounded by testosterostink while I make out with my new house. I hate moving but I'd take that over slow dancing anytime, for sure.

together at last

as of 1:00 today

If movers and plumbers and contractor are in synch this weekend and nothing goes wrong, with one day to spare til' the fall semester start up Monday, then if this were Nintendo that would mean I'd have made it to the next level without getting killed. Barely.

today in the paper - I was in that dollar store yesterday getting a broom and dustpan. Dotti and Jody are the checkout ladies who take cigarette breaks in a constant rotation. When I told Dotti to hold the bag for the dustpan, she said "sure, save a plastic tree, why not?"

for virgo this week: "The advantage of the incomprehensible is that it never loses its freshness," wrote French poet Paul Valery. From that perspective, Virgo, I bet you'll be sparkling and brisk in the coming days. You will be cheeky and saucy, crisp and rosy, bright and well-ventilated. There'll be so much delightfully hard-to-understand novelty flowing your way that you will be awakened again and again and again, rising to a higher level of awareness each time. [o brother]

natural self - feet keep moving [high rec]

spoiler: the Hutt is a dragqueen. seriously. [I'd feel more comfortable with that if the force were with him.]

city of prague philharmonic [from soundtrack] -b'ommar monastery

. . the search the survey check the other survey squabble over the fence line though I don’t give a rat’s ass if I lose 9 inches to Flo for christ sake then the home owners insurance policy what a quagmire cz how the hell am I supposed to get the property secured (the backdoor yes I know it’s missing of course I know it’s missing but I don’t OWN IT YET duh) then get that all changed over with new car insurance cancel the tai kwon do which believe or not requires a certified change of address which is absurd what a bunch of fascists then get Ears to lens crafters cz he lost his glasses again book the truck fret over the truck schedule the closing AGAIN for wed afternoon throw a fit no not Thursday I need it now now NOW I needed it THEN let alone NOW so wed AFTERNOON armscrossy! then if we get back to lens crafters right before closing Clone Wars is playing next door and the mattress store is right next to that so conceivably I could all three in one go though I still want an ass tester for the pillow top or not memory foam whatever (omg a new bed a new bed to replace the sleeplesshellhistory bed that in itself is going to be fantastic) but first before all that I have to put in Dan’s xerox orders for the fall cz he doesn’t know how to find the secretary yet and that reminds me I have to do my own for christ sake . . . .

I bet she's got a seething temper. [ . . . I'm probably projecting.]

Annnnd the other show drops: my house is Sold. They had their last inspection today on the boilers, and Mama Red passed her exams. She’s in fantastic shape for an old broad. So. I’ll gain possession of TH this coming Wednesday, move what I must next weekend, fix the plumbing then move the rest of my stuff mid-Sept, and Mama Red will become the new home of Sasha and Emily shortly thereafter. Sasha is a UB history prof, who will join the PhD ghetto of Parkside. Half his department lives within 5 blocks of here. And nobody is selling here, afraid of the market. And if you’re a professor, welllll, you almost have to live here. And it’s August. . . . I’m am deeeeply unskilled at most of the things I wish I were good at - like trusting or liking almost anyone for more than a nanosecond - but working a disadvantage to my advantage, that I can often do. I'm not fully counting on it until I have the check in my hand, but that's because I don't trust anything for more than a nanosecond. [Very tiring, being that way. Sigh.] In the non-paranoid dimension of the universe, though, my house has been successfully sold.


The Allman Brothers Band: Ramblin' Man
bonus "Ode to a Friend," Andy Yorke (Thom's little brother) [I love this anyway]

+ bonus track for my [sometimes profitable] temper:
Bettye LaVette (Ft. Drive-By Truckers) - "You Don't Know Me At All"

Laura Cortese: Just Like Heaven (The Cure)

Randy Newman (Harry Nilsson) - Remember [I like how this ends]

Chris Smither, Have You Seen My Baby

J.J. Cale, Rollin'

[I'm cold.] kevin kane - borderline - kickass madonna cover [toggle: auto pilot]

Fortin-Leveille - Soleil

Otis Redding – You Don’t Miss Your Water

As soon as I opened my eyes, I knew I'd be way harsh so I was better off keeping to myself. I left right away, went to garden shops, bought manure, then built a compost heap in my new backyard. Officer Overly Friendly [Oof] and Milk-n-Cookies [MnC], my neighbors to one side, the ones who have cubed kids, were thankfully not home for once. He is 6ft9 tall and my fence is 6 ft tall and he's real friendly. (Sigh.) The neighbor on the other side, retired - ie grumpy - was about for the first time today today though. Florence [Flo] didn't like my heap, methinks. It rained all day, and I forked shit onto the mud and blissed out.

"Heavy Heart," You Am I (I like this a lot too)

This kinda blows my mind. New York?? I dunno, that's a little like Wisconsin trading it's "Dairy State" moniker and cheesewedge hats to us. Does Lewis Black move to Green Bay and open a bagel shop now? Weird.

for virgo today: A couple of fabulous aspects bode extremely well for communications in romantic matters. Words should come easily today. Attached Virgos will be able to reassure their partners over a specific matter, while singles should find it easier to warm to those around them!

. . . then I turn around, and some woman with red hair is moving boxes into the downstairs apartment - the roommate we agreed that OJ wouldn't get then re-agreed that she wouldn't get has moved in . . . . I'm sure the redhead is a decent human being, but I don't want to smell her armpits around me when I didn't invite her in here, and I have no control and have to put up with it, because another tenant would be just as bad certainly (since after all, people will befriend and fuck people willy nilly generally speaking without asking my approval, now won't they?) . . . . my problem: I hate people. I try not to, but I just do. I want to like them, but then I get up close and I don't, a situation made worse by the fact that they tend to step on me, a lot, maybe cz I'm short (?) - I don't like what they smell like hardly ever, and rarely like who they're cavorting with, smoking pot and reading Borges to each other ad nauseum as if they're the only people on earth who are smart enough to be profound while they're baked (o pulease), I don't like their sense of entitlement to have room-filling emotions, I don't like them either hating me back or complimenting me either (fuck you ft. get offa me), and don't want them around soooo much sometimes that I don't even want them NOT around as if they're NOT-aroundness is too close to aroundness. I hate this house selling crap, with people trapsing through here multiple times only to offer me less than I want while giving me mini-lectures on the housing market as if I live on the moon and/or am a stupid woman. but if I stop selling it, I turn around and there is OJ and Aidan the Redhead I don't know who apparently is "great" (why?) because she works at Urban Roots and "has had a lesbian lover" (hahahahahah ooo welllll in that case, let me rush to be fine with her living in your [my] pantry) and I'd also have another apartment to rent to another set of HUMANS, which right there will be what I don't like about them. new tenants would be human too, with thus a high stupid bullshit factor I'll have to smile around to get my rent every month while they get dogs without permission if I get lucky and it's not fucking FERRETS, the only god damn things that smell worse than unwanted humans ROAR

"Twilight (demo)," Robbie Robertson - love this version, thank you

It's 5 pm, and it's been a loooooooooooooooong day, with 3 showings left still. I feel like a hostage.

There's a nibble on the line though, maybe a light at the end of the tunnel. A couple came here early this summer to take a massive glider off my porch - nobody was laying on it and the place was cluttered so we listed it on Craislist as a haul-away. They came back when the saw the For Sale sign, saying they'd been hawking the place ever since. Today they came back and spent 3 hours here, with his parents in tow, who kept going on and on about "crime", ie Black People. "This street is close to Main Street", (long suggestive pause). Even the agent, who could kiss the devil's ass, finally couldn't take it anymore and left, leaving OJ on the porch chatting with them. No, chatting with HIM. His name is Ted. By the time they left, it was a toss up on the vibe the wife was giving on the whole idea, whether she was more hating the father-in-law or more suspicious of OJ, while OJ meanwhile had, indeed, crushed out on her prospective new landlord. I guess instead of calling him "landfriend" the way she does me, she'll call him . . . ? . . . "landman"? "landnextguy"? Gimme a break, don't alienate the wife!!! "This is all I'm good at," she says. loloyyyyy

Meanwhile, TJ barfed at camp, a summertime classic. Union meetings, nympho tenants, barfing boys, racist in-laws - it's a god damn zoo around here.

I hid all day yesterday, hung out in my future back yard weeding what will be the garden, while the first open house took place here. 60 viewers came through Big Mama Red - that’s apx 100 people, since most people do the real estate thing in pairs. The air in here feels quivery. And the woman who sold me the place showed up too (yes, she drove from Connecticut for the open house), threatening to buy it back if I was gonna be like that and wanting into the downstairs to see what I‘d done to it (only my apartment is open to general viewing - you gotta make a private appt to see the rest). The agent had to practically body block her, three times. OJ is completely freaked by her, and the agent thinks she’s insane - nope, just Greek. They have their own logic about attachment and that’s that. I’m glad she turned up - I think it’ll help Big Mama find her next true owners, kinda protect her from people who’ll mistake her for a building rather than a home. All over my apartment are little white crayon X’s that you’d hardly notice unless I pointed them out - they’re from Ears, who marked everything he loved here when he was about 3 years old. Every door has a little X somewhere on it. That’s not the kind of thing you can let go of lightly. I’ve been over it many times, weighing it all, and always come to the conclusion that this is a worthy risk. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel like my eyeballs are being ripped outa my head through my intestines sometimes. When Angeliki sold this place to me, it was TO ME, with elaborate instructions I had to follow about what to do and not to do and change and not to change, including forwarding mail to her nephew for 3 years for instance. So in a way, she didn’t really let it go, she just delegated its care to me. I can feel her somewhere right now, staying with other friends in the city and fuming and feeling it: I will never be able to go back there, no friend will be there who would let me in, who would let me come back and take more flowers out of the garden . . . . I feel it too. There is nobody to be in conflict with over it, there is just CHANGE as the foe.

My number has changed. I hope she just comes back again.

[Why can’t a Buddhist vacuum under the sofa? Because she has no attachments. (And I am no good Buddhist - HA, understatement.)]

for virgo today: Although you are quite shy in romantic matters there are a number of positive influences that mean that now is the time to grasp the nettle and let that special someone know exactly how you feel. You may well be surprised at just how positive they are in their response!

Welp, there are half dozen more showings today, with a union meeting in the middle. >:/ Sigh. Guess I'll get outa bed and face the day . . .

Federico Aubele - Esta Noche (mmmm I like this, goes well w tits)

I could break under this in less than a month. I have to be either here, which is unthinkable, or not-here during all these showings. What am I supposed to do for several hours every day outside of work hours? All day Saturday, Sunday, Monday evening . . . Ugh. I made Jasper go to the doggy groomer, upsets him enough to make him crap in the car. Then I went to Sears and bought all the appliances for the new house. I walked in there knowing all the rebates and the Kenmore product codes by heart for every major appliance of a house, and Jim, the pre-retirement life-long salesman, looked upon me as if upon The Sears Goddess.

It's 4 pm and it's been a looooooong day.

Now what am I supposed to do tomorrow? It's no wonder I'm shopping sawzalls, cz I gotta have some god damn thing to do at all times. My nerves are shot. I need to quite very literally fuck my brains loose, bc my brains fucking hurt.

>:(

for virgo this week: Could you get access to a crane with a wrecking ball? How about a chainsaw or sledgehammer? Metaphorically speaking, you may need some heavy equipment to do all the demolition work that's necessary right now. Among the structures that could be due for destruction: a mental block you've been preserving out of perverse nostalgia; a prison cell you lock yourself inside on your off days; a half-built bridge you're no longer interested in or capable of completing; a pedestal on which your fallen idol used to stand; and a door you nailed shut in order to seal yourself off from a person with whom you still have unfinished business.

This is my idea of exciting reading these days. I’m all about Energy Star appliances. Scintillating.

TH passed his last inspection today, the sewer is good to go. So it’s official, we’ll be moving before the end of August to Whiteyton. Meanwhile, Big Mama Red is having her first showings this week and is fetchin’ lots of attention, as cougar and hippie-dippy though she may be. People slam on their brakes going by her. Lookers aren’t takers, but the Taker will love her and rightfully so.

Meanwhile, OJ is sometimes on the phone learning about urban homesteading mortgages and the rest of the time she’s tweeking. She needs full throttle on her own Will. Which is fine. I just didn’t want to be her new foil. So have a roommate or not, move out or not, pay your rent or not, do Whatever You Want - that’s what she wanted, to be able to do Whatever She Wants, without any kind of beholden-ness. I feel for her, cz she didn’t know that Freedom is demanding too. Ha, understatement. She is walking around in her underwear 24/7, kinda addled. Welp, I hate to say it but sometimes you do just gotta shake off your mama. (And sometimes you gotta shake off being nothing but one.) (At the same time.) (Addled or not.)

CSNY - The Cost of Freedom [used to listen to this when I was very little on my dad’s turntable in that living room w/ the blue carpet in Schaumburg]
Eef Barzelay (Clem Snide)- True Freedom